Author’s Note:I’ll answer the feedback, don’t worry. I’ll try for sometime in the next 7 days, okay?
…And please remember that I’m still getting the hang of writing Zurg. So if he feels off, you know why.
==33. Too Much==
“Make sure that the eight o’clock curfew is
strictly observed.”
“Yes, Your Evilness.”
“All the Grubs are to wash up before bed.”
“Yes, Your Evilness.”
“And the brainpods –”
“Your Evilness?”
“Darkmatter, it’s rude to interrupt,” Zurg chided. “What is it?”
Warp tried his best not to sound frazzled. “We go through this list
every time you leave me in charge, and you’ve left me in charge no fewer than
seventy times in the past ten years. I could recite that list in my
sleep. Don’t worry – we’ll all be just fine.”
“In your sleep?” the Evil Emperor echoed, interested. “Could I videotape you at night to find out?”
“Your Evilness~!” Warp groaned, at this point unable to help sounding more like a teenager than like a man just entering his forties.
“Don’t get your knickers in a knot!” Zurg told him. “It was a joke. Sheesh, an Evil Emperor can’t make a joke anymore…”
“The dreadnought is ready, Your Most Evil Highness!” announced a little Grub.
“Excellent!” Zurg crowed, turning to the Grub and rubbing his hands together. “Time to trounce Lightyear!” With Zurg’s back turned, Warp rolled his eyes in safety. “Hold down the fort, Darkmatter!”
Twenty years of paramilitary service had drilled it into Warp to salute with a “Yes, sir!”
Zurg shrugged one shoulder as he glided away toward the transport shuttle. “Well, at least Star Command was good for discipline…”
Warp stood in attention until the shuttle lifted off, then felt safe in mimicking, “Well, at least Star Command was good for discipline.” He snorted in mild disgust, then strode away from the docking pad. Out in the hall, he came across a small assemblage of brainpods and Grubs.
His unofficial “sidekick” Brainpod 20 rolled up to him. “So… Warp… You’re in charge again.”
Brainpods 73 and female 96 traded glances.
“Yyyep,” Warp nodded calmly. Then his steel-blue eyes gleamed. “Is that cool or what?”
“Totally!” 20 cheered. “C’mon, guys – to the rec room!”
Most of the group cheered – dour little 73 simply moaned, “If he ever finds out, we are going to be in sooo much trouble…”
“Which is why he’s never going to find out,” Warp assured him. “C’mon, 73, I’ve been handling this for years now – give me a little credit!”
“I give you plenty of credit!” 73 protested. “But just because you’re good doesn’t mean that you’ll
always be
good enough.”
“He’s got a point there,” 56 admitted.
Warp sighed. “You brains sure know how to take the fun out of a – C’mon, everybody – rec room.”
“Yeah, that’s right! When the cat’s away, the mice come out to play!” 20 cheered.
The Grubs latched onto brainpods piggyback style as they all raced to the lifts for two floors up. The noisy, happy crowd grew as they traveled further through the building.
The Rec Room was one of the oldest rooms in the remodeling of the Zurg Tower some forty years ago. Warp knew that its original purpose had been as a fun room for a young Emperor Zurg and his sort-of sister Zomega, but less than five years after its creation, it was abandoned. Eventually, Zomega decided that the Grubs and brainpods needed some kind of place to relax in the tower itself, aside from the various little “clubs” that dotted the lower levels of the city. Zurg had agreed, but with a plethora of conditions on how the room was to be used.
But when Zurg started putting Warp in charge of things while he was away, Warp figured that as long as he did a little tampering with the security cams and made sure that the room was cleaned up… Well, he could let the gang have their uninhibited fun and Zurg would never be the wiser. And he never was, either – everyone did their part to make sure that he never found out.
Warp really didn’t think that the consequences would be as bad as the other underlings imagined; but extra work would probably be a good bit of the punishment, and he honestly wanted to avoid that for all concerned. When Zurg was away, Warp felt his own odd little attachment to the “freak show staff.” If Zurg was their twisted sort of father figure, Warp was the big brother. There
were times that he would be as arrogant and dismissive of them as Zurg himself was, but those times weren’t often. More than once, he’d actually taken the rap for an underling’s mistake. It was after the first such occurrence that the brainpods and Grubs knew – really
knew – that they could trust him, despite the occasional mood swing.
Brainpods and Grubs poured out of the lifts by the dozens, all scurrying for the room at the end of the hall. They burst inside, 96 dashing over to the stereo system to turn on the music. Derriyan techno began to blare from the speakers, and Warp grimaced and covered his ears. Derriyan techno was one of his favorite music styles, but at this volume and with all the other commotion – well, it was a one-way ticket to one whopper of a headache. “I’ll be right back,” he told 20. “I’m gonna go get some aspirin.”
“I’ll get it,” 20 volunteered.
“No-no, I want to,” Warp assured him. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Warp hurried out of the room and shut the door behind him, then jogged down the hall. A good two hundred feet from the rec room, he stopped and slumped against a wall, pressing the left side of his face against the cold metal. It felt good.
Twisting away from the wall, he pulled a small packet out of the compartment in his cybernetic arm, and took out a cigarette. He lit it and raised it to his lips, taking a brief drag and blowing it out in a thin, precise stream. He didn’t smoke much – hardly ever on Planet Z, since his boss despised it – and he understood the danger but figured that as long as he did it only once in a defense moon, he’d be okay. And there were just times when he needed it to soothe him, like now.
He felt overdrawn.
Twenty-three years ago, he’d first accepted Zurg’s job offer.
Fifteen years ago, he’d cheerfully assured Zurg that he wouldn’t give up his job for anything.
Two and a half years ago, he’d come on fulltime.
Eight months ago, he’d met a girl who’d… mm…
penetrated his otherwise tough shell.
Three weeks ago, he’d pulled his former partner away from an exploding grenade.
His loyalties hadn’t felt so conflicted since… since… well, since a long time ago.
“Hey, Warpster.”
Warp jumped at the quiet voice, then snarled down at its owner. “20~! ******,
don’t sneak up on me!!”
“It’s not my fault you weren’t paying attention!” 20 shot back.
Warp growled and let loose a string of profanities in several different languages. 20 rolled his eyes, folded his arms, and waited for Warp to finish. Once the agent paused for breath, the pod interjected, “Look, I’m sorry, okay?”
Warp exhaled forcefully. “Yeah, yeah.”
“What’s the matter with you, partner? You haven’t been your chipper self, lately.”
“I would say that’s the understatement of the year.”
20 sighed, his voice growing serious. “C’mon, Warp – what’s going on?”
Warp thought a moment before responding. “D’you ever wish you were somewhere other than here?” he said slowly.
“Yeah,” 20 sighed. “Off at the Mahambas VI beaches in a cherry-red Cayona Corvette.”
Warp gave him a look.
“What? I meant it.”
Warp growled slightly before grinding out, “I’m
serious, 20.”
Alarm slowly bled into 20’s eyes. “Warp, that’s
treason,” he whispered hoarsely. “You could lose a lot more than your job for a remark like that!”
“Well, maybe
that right there is one of the reasons!” Warp shot back.
“And I have a feeling that a pair of big brown eyes is the biggest.”
Warp glared warningly at the pod. “Y’know what? Shut up.”
“C’mon, Warp – I know you like… what’s her name? Arie?”
“Erin.”
“See, you even know her name.”
“20, I told you to shut up.”
“I will not! Not until you ‘fess up!”
“Whaddayou want me to do – get on my knees and propose to the kid?”
“Would you?”
“She’s training to be a
Space Ranger, for crying out loud!”
The pod gave a motherly sigh and shook his head. “Boy, you’ve got problems, man.”
If 20 had had a regular body, Warp would have socked him in the face. Instead, the man grabbed the pod’s neck cable and thrust him roughly aside, then stormed away.
“Ohhh,” 20 moaned, pushing himself upright. “Gooolly.”
Should’ve known better than to push him like that.Warp stomped up to the medical closet in that wing and opened it. The aspirin bottle was right in front, and he took a pill, swallowing it dry. Then he slammed the door shut again.
**** you, 20!Well, he couldn’t go back to the party now – he’d end up vaporizing anyone who came near him.
He would have to take a walk. A long walk.
As he strode for an exit, he briefly wished he was in his civvies and his right arm wasn’t so big. He kind of wanted to shove his hands into his pockets.
***
It was breathless outside. Not a wisp of breeze stirred, and the air hung heavily.
Storm coming.
He remembered the first time he’d seen a Planet Z electrical storm. The blue-white lightning against the maroon clouds and the eternal red of the ground, the screaming wind… It had captivated him.
He stepped out onto a catwalk, strode across to the other side. Took a left, up a flight of stairs, took a right, came out on an open platform, looked down.
The planet’s surface was
really far below.
The danger of it exhilarated him. Danger always had.
He catapulted himself into the air…
And fell.
The air seared past him as he fell, stinging his eyes slightly. Shades of red, brown, and purple blurred past him.
And the ground was rapidly rushing up to greet him.
He blinked.
And swerved upward, a mere four feet from impact.
Rocketed up into the red sky.
Zurg thought he owned the Grubs, thought he owned the brainpods, thought he owned
Warp.
Yeah,
right.
Warp had a newsflash for him:
not a chance.
It was all about choice.
And the one thing that Warp valued above his own life was freedom.
He began to weave around the various towers that formed the city’s skyline.
More than anything else, he’d always wanted the freedom to choose for himself what he was going to do with his life.
When he was seventeen, he made a choice that he’d stuck with to this day. But at any time, he could have chosen to stay with Star Command, even chosen to divulge the inner workings of Zurg’s empire and take down the Evil Emperor. He could have topped Lightyear with that stunt.
He’d chosen not to.
In a deep part of him that he usually refused to acknowledge, it had nothing to do with wealth or power. It was something akin to fealty… even akin to family.
In his own twisted, crazy way, that’s what Zurg was like to Warp. Family.
Of course, on the same token, that’s what Lightyear was, too.
Craters.
Talk about a messed-up life.
Oh, it was messed-up. That much, he would freely acknowledge, if only to himself. He couldn’t help getting close to Lightyear in those two decades they were partners, but that just
really complicated his life. He didn’t want to have the shades of grey in his life that Buzz’s friendship created, wished that things could be just a simple black-and-white, ‘cause he honestly didn’t mind that division.
No such luck. The pieces of white here and there that created the grey refused to let go.
Craterscraterscraterscraters.
He wasn’t even going to
think about Erin.
****, ****, and double ****.
***
The wind was kicking up when he finally returned to the Zurg Tower. Bits of crimson sand whipped across his face, leaving small but stinging abrasions.
The hatch whirred shut behind him, and he raked his claw through his hair. Was he ready to return to the rec room?
Craters, yeah. He was in need of some fun.
***
Thirty minutes later, he was in the middle of a fast-paced game of Truth or Dare that encompassed all three hundred-odd beings crammed into the room – some odder than others.
“All right – Brainpod 29!” a Grub bellowed. Well, as well as a Grub’s weak little voice
can bellow.
“Me?” 29 moaned.
“Yeah – you! Truth or dare?”
“Um, truth?”
The brains always pick “truth” – bunch of ninnies…“Stupidest moment!”
Warp rolled his eyes – the Grubs came up with
such lame questions.
29 looked heavenward and said, “When I tried to get a raise from the Evil Emperor when all
he wanted to do was shoot the Zurgatronic Ray.”
Snickers around the room.
“My turn!” 20 called out.
The rest of the room’s inhabitants cringed back.
Oh, he WOULDN’T.“Warp! Truth or dare?”
He had to give 20 one thing – the pod had guts, unlike a lot of his cowering comrades. But, um, that wasn’t the
only thing Warp was going to give 20. “Dare.” …Or maybe that wasn’t the smartest decision. 20 was known for his insane and dangerous dares – dangerous in the form of “if-
you-know-who-finds-out-you-are-sooo-DEAD” kind of dares. 57 had loved to play as dangerously as 20, and the two would play the game for
days on end – generally with
big-time punitive consequences. Warp was pretty sure that one such occurrence – maybe an especially bad one – had prompted 57’s defection. 57 had always been an independent spirit – moreso than maybe any other brainpod on Planet Z. No wonder he bailed out and teamed up with Romac.
20 nodded, expecting Warp’s reply, after what had happened earlier. “Oookay. You have to… go up to the throne room and stick a smiley-face sticker on one of the armrests.”
Collective gasp.
“Are you cr –” Warp cut himself off as his mind caught up with the sentence.
Oh-ho, 20, you goofed on this one. He nodded slowly and shrugged, allowing himself a mischievous grin. “Suuure. Why not?”
“Warp, are you
crazy??” 96 hissed. “
He’ll go berserk!”
“No, he won’t,” Warp said casually, weaving his way around the various insectiod and mechanical bodies. “Don’ worry.”
“Uh, W-Warp?” 20 stammered, handing the man the sticker as he passed.
Warp winked and clicked his tongue before the door whirred shut behind him.
***
Ten minutes later, he returned to find the brainpods all deep in contemplation. “Okay, Darkmatter, we can’t figure it out,” 12 told him. “You go up there, put a
smiley-face sticker on the
Evil Emperor’s throne –”
“No, I didn’t,” Warp cut him off, grinning.
“But that’s what I dared you to do!” 20 protested.
“No, you didn’t.” Warp’s grin grew wider. “See, um, you told me to put the sticker on one of the armrests. You didn’t specify that it had to be on the throne.”
Round of “ohhhs”.
“Yeah, it’s on one of the Grub’s chairs in the control area.”
Laughter.
“Argh! I should have
seen that!” 20 rebuked himself.
“Yep. You should have.” 20 shot him the death glare, to which Warp responded only with a sickeningly sweet smile. Oh yeah, revenge was sweet. Indeed. “Okay, my turn.”
A few pods and Grubs cringed, but most were sure that Warp wouldn’t ask them to do or say anything
too dangerous – usually, anyway.
“Umm…” Warp’s blue gaze roamed over the crowd of anxious faces. Craters – playing “Truth or Dare” on Planet Z was SO far removed from playing the game back in the Academy. Heh, he, Buzz, and Rocket had been the wild ones – Ty and Janet would be brave every now and then, but they’d tended to be careful. The rest of the class wasn’t even worth mentioning as far as dares were concerned… “Brainpod 73!”
“Truth,” 73 grumbled. 73 was an eternal pessimist and worry-wart, and he
never took a dare.
“C’mon, 73, take a dare for once in your life!” Warp protested.
“Yeah, come on, 73!” 96 urged, giggling a bit.
“I said
truth,” 73 scowled. “What part of
truth don’t you understand?”
“What part
do we understand?” 40 spoke up from across the room. “We’re on the wrong side of the law!”
The brainpods laughed; the Grubs, apparently, didn’t understand the joke.
“Yeahyeahyeah
fine,” Warp muttered. “Okay, um… 73…” He snapped his real fingers, a wicked glint entering his eyes. 73 instinctively backed up. “You’ve got a snapshot that you carry around in your briefcase –”
“How did you know that??”
“You once left it lying around and
open.” Warp shook his head and clucked his tongue. “Aaanyway… Snapshot. Pretty sweet-lookin’ chick in that photo.”
Instant “oooos!” around the room.
73 looked very much as though he wanted to strangle Warp.
Said Warpster merely folded his arms smugly and leaned back against the wall. “Well, 73? Ya gotta tell the truth.” Yup, he was so very good at this game.
There was a good half-minute of ribbing and catcalls before 73 finally caved beneath the pressure. “All right, all right! Her name is Leela Dericone.”
“Aaaand?” Warp pressed.
“College girlfriend, all right??” 73 shouted back.
“Oooo!”
“Sweet mother of Venus!”
“73 had a girlfriend!”
“No way!”
Warp stared incredulously at 73. “My sentiments exactly, 73. No way any woman
that good-looking would hang out with nerdy little
you.”
“Hey,
I used to be good-looking, too!” 73 shot back, upset now.
“Whoawhoawhoa, hey, guys, guys!” 96 blurted out, rushing to interpose herself between 73 and Warp. She flicked an admonishing glance back and forth between the two. “Warp, lay off. 73, chill.”
“Yes,
Mom,” Warp said sarcastically.
The rebuke came like a whiplash: “WARP!”
And he
flinched. That’s right: Warp Darkmatter, former Space Ranger, Agent Z, Fringe man extraordinaire… flinched at the rebuke of a pretty sassy little female brainpod. “All right, all right.”
***
An hour later, all was forgiven between Warp and 20 – it never took long for them to make up, anyway – and they were in the middle of a most intensive and monumentally important project in the midst of the happy chaos around them.
“The red one goes there.” 20’s voice.
“Nooo, it goes
there.” Warp’s voice.
“No, it doesn’t! It goes like this!” The pod’s claw snatched the red wire out of Warp’s own claw.
“20!
Careful!” Warp hissed.
“Cool your jets, will ya – I’m not hurting anything.” 20 placed the wire, then retracted his claw, gazing with satisfaction at the hot-wire job before him.
“All right, fine. But if it blows when we switch it back on, it ain’t gonna be
my fault.”
“Fair enough. And if it
doesn’t blow when we switch it back on,
my genius.”
“You’re on.”
“Okey-doke.” 20 closed the service panel and flipped the switch at the base of the neck.
The hornet came to life and stood.
Very wobbly.
“Come on, come on, come on,” Warp whispered.
The hornet lurched forward, flailing its arms, then its body shook as if it was laughing.
Warp and 20 burst into laughter. “Aaall
right! My genius!” 20 cheered. “High five, big guy!” The pair smacked their claws together.
“Aww, that is priceless!” Warp laughed, clutching his side. “Anybody got a camera??”
“I do!” Brainpod 61 called out, holding up a camera and then aiming it at the hapless hornet, snapping off several shots.
Said hornet stumbled around, swinging its arms clumsily.
“Now if only hornets had vocorders,” 20 sighed happily.
Warp folded his arms in satisfaction. “Ehh, it’s good enough the way it is.” They traded glances and immediately broke into laughter again. “A drunken hornet! We actually managed to program a hornet to act drunk!”
“Finally!” 20 chortled. “Ohhh man, doesn’t get any better than that.”
“You said it.”
Grubs shrieked as the duo’s handiwork tramped recklessly through them, and a few brainpods shot the duo the evil eye. One even chucked a wad of paper at 20.
Eventually, though, everyone was enjoying the new “Life of the Party,” affectionately dubbed
John Doe.
***
The next day…“I think that all that ice cream melted your brain, Darkmatter!” Brainpod 22 called out.
“Eh, you’re just jealous that I have one,” Warp grinned.
Laughter rippled through the room.
“But seriously, Warp,” 96 frowned, “how could it be Thunderboy’s fault that he lost his powers? Dr. Sykatar stole them from him.”
“Well sure, but it was
because Thunderboy took those extra powers when he wasn’t ready for them that
made it possible for Dr. Sykatar to steal them,” Warp pointed out, holding up issue 74 of the
Thunderboy comic.
Zurg actually had quite a collection of comic books both modern and ancient, and subscribed to several. His excuse was that they provided him inspiration on how to defeat the Galactic Alliance and insight on how to outmaneuver Buzz Lightyear.
Warp didn’t buy it for a second. The Big Z just loved comics – even superhero comics – as much as his underlings did, plain and simple. And just about
everybody on Planet Z loved
Thunderboy – it just happened to be a really fun comic. Warp suspected that Zurg had a
Thunderboy collection of promotional merchandise and toys from Pizza Planet up in his private chambers, but it was nothing that he could prove unless he hacked into Zurg’s accounts. Considering what had happened the
last time he’d pulled that stunt, however, he wasn’t likely to try it again any time soon.
“Darkmatter’s right,” Brainpod 8 (one of the oldest pods at some fifty years of pod-dom) agreed, nodding. “Professor Kyerk warned Thunderboy that the powers needed to be developed further before Thunderboy could use them. But he didn’t listen, went out to go stop Dr. Sykatar, and Sykatar managed to drain his powers because he didn’t know how to handle them.”
“Sounds kinda like the thing with the Tangean Princess a while back,” 20 muttered.
“Yeah,” 73 murmured back, standing beside 20.
“See?” Warp said triumphantly, folding his arms over his massive chest. “There’s a lesson here, even in
Thunderboy: don’t get ahead of yourself. You could wind up in deep waters.”
“You sound like Lightyear,” Brainpod 89 sniped.
Warp shot the pod a venomous look. “
Don’t. Say.
That. Again.”
96 grimaced and shook her head. “Okay, everybody – DANCE TIME AGAIN!” She flipped on a Mahambasian swing tune, and the room broke out into crazy, happy dancing.
Warp shook his head.
“Warp?”
He looked down to see 96 standing there, looking up. “Yeah, 96?”
“Wanna dance?”
He snorted. “That could be difficult, kid.”
“We won’t know until we try,” she insisted. “
Pleeease?”
Good grief, how could a
brainpod manage puppy eyes?? Especially as big and innocent as 96 was giving him right now!
Warp sighed, knowing full well that he was being suckered. “All right, all right.”
It wasn’t easy, but after a few minutes of trial-and-error, they managed. Their mismatched dance comprised mostly of 96 spinning, but she didn’t mind.
96 was special. Very,
very few females made it into Zurg’s employ, and it wasn’t because Zurg wasn’t in the market for female staff. He’d hire anybody who could do their job right and not have any qualms about it. It just so happened that not many women cared to apply for jobs on Planet Z, and most of those who did left when they read the contract. Actually, for the most part, Zurg wasn’t all that bad of an employer, but there were various things in the contract that just didn’t appeal to the feminine gender – not the least of which was the brain-in-a-jar thing that was the fate of most scientists in the Zeta Empire.
96’s real name was Alexis Teribex, a Rhizomian astrophysicist. At the age of twenty-six, the woman applied at Planet Z and was accepted for her considerable talent in her field, not to mention her doctorate. That had been almost three years ago. A maverick herself, she quickly bonded with the spirited and individualistic 57 and 20, and even managed to befriend sourpuss 76. Warp knew that she still felt the loss of 57 keenly, even more than a year after his defection – and Warp suspected that 96 kept a correspondence with the renegade pod.
She tended to be a peacemaker like the older pods, and made herself available whenever possible as a sort of sister figure for any Grub or young pod who had a problem. 96 was one of the eight female brainpods, but as far as Warp was concerned, 96 was one in a million. She was just that great.
The music died out suddenly, interrupting Warp’s musing, and he heard a collective gasp. 96, despite the expressive part of herself being her eyes and “eyebrows” only, looked pale – and let go of his hands and backed up carefully.
He didn’t need to ask, though, because he
felt the problem. A shiver skittered painfully down his spine just before he turned.
To see the glowing crimson eyes of his boss, the Evil Emperor Zurg. And at that moment, Zurg was looking every inch of his title.
The room was completely silent, breathless.
“Darkmatter…”
Warp suppressed a shudder at the low, lethal tone he had only heard a few times before in his life. None of those times had ended well. After five seconds, he figured that he’d better answer. “Yes, Your Evilness?”
“Is today a holiday, and I missed the memo?” Even tone, still low and lethal.
“No, Your Evilness.” Warp was reckless, but he wasn’t stupid. There was
no way he was going to lie to Zurg
now.
“Is today a Sunday?”
“No, Your Evilness.”
“Labor union issues? Day off that I forgot about?”
“No, Your Evilness.”
Zurg nodded slowly. “Then…
why, Darkmatter, is a good fifty percent of the city workforce
partying here on a
workday?”
Yep, Zurg was giving Warp enough rope to hang himself on, and he could just feel the noose settling around his neck. Warp’s mouth worked for a few seconds before his brain finally latched onto something halfway workable. “Well, Your Evilness, everyone’s been working so hard lately, and I didn’t think it would hurt to let them –”
“Darkmatter, did I not leave you instructions as to how to run this place in my absence?”
“Yes, Your Evilness.”
“Was…
partying… included in them?”
“No, Your Evilness.”
Zurg nodded again. “I didn’t think so.”
“Your Evilness, the workforce still met their quo –”
“YOU STILL
DISOBEYED ME, DARKMATTER!” Zurg roared, his face twisted with fury. Warp grimaced at the damage his hearing was undoubtedly receiving. “MORE THAN THAT, YOU
WENT BEHIND MY BACK!Okay, wow – Buzz must’ve beaten the Big Z really,
really bad, this time.
“And,” Zurg continued, in a calmer voice, “I get the feeling –” he slowly turned in a 360 degree arc – “that this is not the first time.” He scowled at the cowering, feeble forms around him. “WELL?? IS IT??”
“N-no, Your Evilness!” a Grub squeaked.
Warp’s eyelids briefly fluttered closed. Of course, it would be a Grub who would crack first. The best Warp could hope for now was that this little trial would be over fast and he’d be demoted to janitorial detail for the next two weeks. Which sucked, really, but it was better than any sort of corporal punishment, which he
really wanted to avoid.
“Really?” Zurg pressed. “Do tell! How many times have you had these little…
parties… while I’ve been away?”
“S-sometimes, Your Evilness,” a different Grub replied. When Zurg turned his literally heated glare upon that Grub, the little one hastened to correct itself. “Uuusually, Your Highness.”
Yep, Warp was done-for.
“Really?” Zurg returned his glowing eyes to his right-hand man. “Darkmatter, Darkmatter, Darkmatter, my boy… you…
disappoint me,” he said evenly. “I thought, for sure, that if I could trust no one else, I could at least trust
you.”
“You
can, Your Evilness!” Warp insisted. “I just didn’t see the harm in letting –”
Something happened then that had
never happened before.
Warp found himself crying out in pain, reeling backwards, and holding the right side of his face. When he pulled his gloved hand away, there was blood on it. He stared in shock at the man before him.
The brainpods and Grubs felt rooted to the floor, their eyes riveted in horror to the Evil Emperor and the man on trial. Zurg had
never struck Warp before.
It scared them.
“I gave you
orders, Darkmatter,” Zurg hissed, “and when I give you orders, I expect them to be OBEYED!”
A collective, horrified gasp as another
smack sounded, followed by another cry. This time, Warp held the left side of his face, trying to blink back tears.
96 moved a fraction of an inch forward, felt a claw on her pod, and turned her head marginally to see 20. He gave a miniscule shake of his head, his eyes brimming with concern and fear.
“I… I’m
sorry, Your Evilness,” said Warp, his voice growing raw.
“
Sorry doesn’t
cut it, Darkmatter!” Zurg returned, eyes blazing. “You are going to pay for your disobedience! You are going to clean this mess of a rec room, and you are going to do it alone! No machines! Just you, a bucket, a cleaning agent, a rag, and a mop! And when you’re done, you can expect your first visit to the Wedgie Ray!”
Warp’s face paled, almost from anger as much as fear. “That isn’t in my contract… you said you’d never –!”
“Maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to go
behind my back for the past
ten years!” Zurg turned, but froze when Warp spoke again.
“No.”
Everyone stared in shock at Warp. Zurg slowly turned back to the younger man. “Excuse me?”
Warp’s stormy blue eyes flashed. “I said
no,” he replied, his voice even though still holding that note of rawness. “I will
not be tortured like some sort of prisoner or slave.”
20’s eyeballs felt ready to fall out in shock. Warp had always been independent, but this was going
way too far!
“You
will,” Zurg told him, that lethal tone returning, “if
I say you will. You
will do
anything I command you to do. You
belong to me – you
are MINE.”
“No.” Warp’s heart hammered against his ribcage, his survival instinct screaming at him to stop before he got himself killed.
But the one thing that he still valued above his own life was freedom.
And that was something that
no one would take away from him.
“I do
not belong to you. I am
not your servant, I am
not your slave. I
am your
employee, and I
do obey you as your employee. But not as a slave.”
Zurg drew closer to Warp, who shrank back. “Darkmatter,” Zurg said calmly, continuing to stalk the younger man, “I had no idea you were such an…
idealist. And here I thought I knew you.”
“Maybe you never did.” The words were out of Warp’s mouth before his brain could fully realize the stupidity of voicing them.
Zurg gave a small chuckle that chilled Warp. “Apparently not. I knew you were backstabbing and loved to ‘goof off’ when there’s work to be done, of course, but I never thought you’d stoop
this low, and I certainly
never thought you’d
defy me so
brazenly.”
Warp swallowed hard, still backing away from the ever-approaching Evil Emperor. He cast a swift glance behind him – he was just a foot away from touching the room’s one huge window.
“I gave you
everything, Darkmatter. I whisked you away from your miserable little existence. Without me, you’d still be programming spacecraft mainframes at Gemini. You’d be a
nobody.”
“Your Evilness –”
“So
yes, I
do own you. You
are my slave. I
created the Warp Darkmatter that exists today, I
made you into what you are. You. Are.
Mine.”
Warp was backed up against the window now, his real hand pressed flat against the transparisteel.
“Go ahead and take a look out the window, Darkmatter,” Zurg nodded. “Look down – take a
good look.”
Uncertain, Warp took a brief glance down. The surface was
really far below.
And this time, the danger wasn’t exhilarating.
“Far, isn’t it, Darkmatter? In under five seconds, I could rip off your jetpack and hurl you through that transparisteel. What do you think would happen then?”
Warp just stared at Zurg with wide, slightly wild eyes.
“I could do that, you know,” Zurg repeated in a whisper, moving closer to Warp until their faces were mere inches apart. The heat from the Evil Emperor’s eyes was unbearable. “It’s either
that, or the Wedgie Ray. Since you seem to suddenly be so fond of freedom… you have the ‘freedom’ to
take. Your. Pick.”
Warp’s mouth knew the answer first, and as it moved, the rest of him agreed with it. “The window,” he whispered, unable to speak aloud.
Another collective gasp.
Zurg stared at Warp in disbelief.
Warp didn’t deceive himself, though, into thinking that Zurg wouldn’t make good on his threat, no matter what kind of relationship had existed between them in the past. Warp
had gone behind his back, caused the Evil Emperor embarrassment in front of more than half the ground staff, and now forced his hand. Zurg had no choice but to follow through.
“So be it,” Zurg said finally, though the fire had died out of his eyes.
A claw reached out and tore off Warp’s jetpack, flinging to Warp’s left. It ended up embedded in the wall. Warp flinched, but otherwise didn’t react.
Then the same claw gripped his neck and lifted him into the air, his feet swinging a foot off the floor.
It hurt.
Warp’s instincts screamed at him to do something, anything… He could probably hold his own in a one-on-one, but an instinct deeper than survival or fight-or-flight told him that now was not the time. Not yet.
Something like regret flickered through his eyes, and maybe even his own sense of betrayal.
For a moment, Zurg almost faltered.
Almost. He was
that close to stopping himself.
But the moment passed, and he scowled fiercely, swinging and hurling Warp at the window.
The transparisteel shattered at the blow.
Someone – or maybe several people – screamed.
And Warp fell.
He was dying again.
But this time, he… wasn’t… afraid.
He was free.
Training kicked in, and he threw himself into a series of somersaults to slow his fall.
If he didn’t, he would very literally
splat.
After what felt like an eternity, his feet touched the ground. His body quickly followed, and the breath was knocked out of him just before his head hit earth and his world went black.
Above, the wind whispered mournfully.
***
Crashing and slamming could be heard all the way through the private level of the Tower.
Zurg kicked indiscriminately at something on the floor, then picked up some small device or other and hurled it at the wall, shattering the object.
He had been at it for a good five minutes.
At last, his arms fell limp, and he slumped, exhausted, into one of the chairs that had managed to escape his wrath.
A string of choice words in his native tongue as well as several other languages ran through his mind, but none of them were enough to convey what he was feeling.
Oh, he was angry, certainly. In fact, he was absolutely furious.
But he wasn’t furious at Darkmatter alone. No, he was furious with himself, perhaps more than anything else.
Lightyear had really thrashed Zurg good this time, so the Evil Emperor had already been in a supremely foul mood when he’d returned home.
Add to that the fact that almost
no one had been where they should be, keeping his evil empire running.
Add to that the fact that half of them had been in the rec room, having a party
while he was gone.
Add to
that the fact that it was
Darkmatter who’d
let them.
And then it was just too much for Zurg’s fragile restraint.
He’d needed someone to take his frustration out on, and Darkmatter had provided himself as an ample target.
The younger man was right, though – Zurg
had once said that he would
never torture Warp. He didn’t go in for torturing, for the most part. If he needed to interrogate prisoners, sure. But on his own staff? Nope. Worst that ever happened to
them was Evil Bowling and being thrown around for random reasons.
But Zurg had been enraged, and he hadn’t been thinking clearly.
He probably would have even gone through with the Wedgie Ray, too.
But Darkmatter just
had to push even further. And he’d pushed too far.
Zurg would not appear weak before
any of his staff unless the cause was Lightyear.
But…
There had been few times that Zurg had hated himself more than when he’d hurled Warp out that window.
He wondered if Warp had survived. Probably. The man had none of Lightyear’s luck, but he at least always managed to walk away from dangerous situations alive.
He wondered if Warp would come back.
***
He never knew how long he’d been lying out there, exposed to the planet’s harsh elements.
All he knew was that when he finally came to, his head was drenched and he was hurting all over.
Grunting in pain, he pushed himself up to a sitting position, and quickly studied himself. His throat was sore, the blood on his face had dried up, and he felt chilled from getting his head drenched with Planet Z’s slightly acidic rainwater.
Great, he probably had pneumonia, not to mention the fact that he
had to look like a wreck.
Where do I go from here?Talk about a fix.
Shivering, he pushed himself to his feet.
God, if You’re up there, I could sure use some help right about now.Then something very rare happened. For a couple of moments, the clouds drifted apart slightly to reveal a small piece of the heavens beyond. He remembered being a boy and wanting nothing more than just to be
out there, among all those stars.
One corner of his mouth pulled back. If he’d been looking for a sign, he’d gotten one.
The clouds drifted back together, obscuring the heavens once more.
He set off for the docking pads, doing his best to keep his mind from wandering. At night, very little other than hornets stirred, and Planet Z’s only city was pretty spooky. There were a lot of ghost stories floating around, most of them stemming from the fact that the planet had once been a prison planet for the Zeta Empire. Some were so creepy that Warp wondered who in the universe had had an imagination
that wild – others were just plain sad.
Probably one of the saddest was about the little boy who roamed the city at night, crying and searching for his dead parents. Warp knew the truth behind that one – that little boy was none other than the man who called himself “Evil Emperor.”
He shivered again.
And in the corridor to the docking pads, bumped into something.
Oh NO, speak of the Devil…“Darkmatter.” The voice was quiet, but surprised.
“What, didn’t think I’d make it?” Warp snarled bitterly.
“I knew you would.”
For a good minute, the two stared at each other in silence.
At last, Warp looked down at the floor. “I didn’t think it was wrong,” he said, just above a whisper.
“You didn’t think it…” Zurg began incredulously, then cut himself off. “You
don’t think, Darkmatter!”
For a moment, Warp looked as though he was going to say something that both men would probably regret forever. Then the moment passed, and he just looked rather tired and soul-weary. “Can I go home now?”
How
are you supposed to handle such a situation? “…Just as long as you’re back by noon tomorrow.”
Warp nodded slowly, not bothering to bow or salute. “Yes, sir.” He made the short distance to his car parked on Docking Pad 9, opened the door, and practically dropped into the driver’s seat. The engine revved, and he lifted off into the roiling black clouds, headed for his moon.
***
That next day was odd for all concerned.
The Evil Emperor and Agent Darkmatter both acted as though nothing had happened the day before, though the bruises on Warp’s face said otherwise.
No one knew what to make of it.
But there was a tension between the two, a strain that had not been there before.
Something – small in the present but important in the long run – had shifted, changed… And life would not be the same ever again.
***
More than a month later…It was a pretty lousy Saturday evening in Capital City, as far as the January weather was concerned. Earlier that week, the region had decided to heat up just enough to melt the snow, and now it was raining.
So Buzz was lounging on the couch with a mug of coffee as he surfed through his TV channels, trying to find something good to watch.
A ring on the doorbell interrupted his surfing. Muttering to himself, he clicked off the TV, set down the coffee, and moved over to the door to open it. But when he did, he nearly fell back in surprise.
“Hey there, partner,” the visitor said quietly. “Long time, no see.”
It took a good five seconds for Buzz to come out of his deep-freeze. “
Warp?”
==Absolutely, Completely, Definitely, Totally… NOT the End==
Author’s Note:*whistles innocently* …What? Hey, don’t give me that look!
Okay, so yeah, this is set in the
For Good timeline, but if you overlook the references (of which, there aren’t many), it could stand as a sequel to “Ancient Evil,” which it is, anyway.
Oh, and this is SO very much my LONGEST one-shot EVER, BAR NONE. Over 6,900 words! *whoops* (Over 7,400 words if this note is included.)
I know that Zurg
really runs the gamut of emotions here: from normal-lovably-goofy at the beginning, to raging and dark in the middle, to angry and almost kinda mournful at the end. Probably not my best piece of writing involving him, but what can I say? I’m still working on figuring out how to write him – and I’m not going to get any better if I don’t practice
and post. And I’m sure not going to apologize if people don’t like his characterization here – as I said, I’m still getting the hang of it.
I FINALLY GOT TO USE MY BRAINPOD OCS! 20, 73, and 96! That was just too cool! Poor 20 and 96 have been waiting almost a
year to make their first appearance! 73… was created much more recently, but he was fun, too.
I’m sure that somebody else could’ve done a better job with Truth or Dare Planet Z-style, but I did the best I could.
Before anyone jumps on my case for that sort-of prayer, let me say this. Number One: my BLoSC fics ALWAYS take place in OUR galaxy. Number Two: I never said anything about Warp being a
Christian, ‘cause (
duh) he’s not – he simply says “God,
if You’re up there”… (emphasis added)
The clouds parting just enough to reveal a little bit of the stars is actually a nod to the
Return of the King movie. Cookies to anyone who got that.
The drunken hornet is actually from a (Star Wars) Clone Wars novel, in which a protocol droid programs himself to act drunk. I’ve always loved that, and when writing this, I thought it’d be so funny for Warp and 20 to get the bright idea to program a
hornet to act drunk. xDDD
The dialogue from when Warp asks 20 if he ever wished he was somewhere else was sort-of inspired by dialogue between co-employers Richard and George in
The Christmas Box, starring Richard Thomas.
The Thunderboy comic… hopefully, I’m not using a name that isn’t already taken. I wouldn’t know – that’s not my thing. xD But the idea for that scene came from an
Adventures in Odyssey episode, along with Warp and 20’s enthusiasm at Warp being left in charge. For both scenes, Warp replaced AIO character Wooton Basset, who is actually voiced by the same actor who voices Keno Kentrix in “Large Target”!
Oh yeah, and the photo in 73’s briefcase
also came from an AIO episode.
…Umm, I think that’s it! Hope you enjoyed my first big shot at Planet Z!