|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 8, 2010 15:11:25 GMT -5
Tuesday, December 23rd, 3010
It’d been a long time since Buzz had played a virtual-reality game. And since he was on vacation and he’d gotten a free test-version in the mail, he figured that he might as well try it out.
It took a couple of minutes to get it set up with his computer, but eventually, he was ready, and he switched on the headset.
Whoa.
He’d forgotten how incredibly realistic this stuff was, like the sims at Star Command.
He stood in a silver arena, a dark violet sky overhead dotted with stars and binary code.
“Welcome to the world of Tirnari!” a disembodied voice rang out. “I am the Guide, and you are~?”
Buzz almost groaned – the voice of this “Guide” was none other than Brent Starkisser. “Buzz Lightyear.”
“Well, Buzz Lightyear, you are in the for the thrill of a life time in Tirnari Quest! In this game, you get cool armor, sweet weapons, and awesome powers to help you win! You also get a real-life partner player, because this is a two-player game!”
“Hey, the box didn’t say anything about this being two-player!” Buzz frowned.
“Really? Huh. Take it up with our Complaints Department, then.”
Buzz sighed, and cast a glance down at his clothes. He was dressed pretty casually in jeans, a Star Command T-shirt, and a denim jacket. “Do I get that armor before my partner arrives?”
“Not a chance, kiddo – you’ll get your armor together! And here comes your partner now!”
A form phased into view, and it was the last person Buzz would have expected, much less wanted. Oh nononoNO… Suddenly self-conscious, he rubbed gingerly at the blue-purple bruise that covered most of his right cheek – courtesy of Hellboy two days ago.
At least the Evil Emperor Zurg couldn’t really hurt him in a game. Right?
|
|
|
Post by eez on Feb 8, 2010 16:50:40 GMT -5
"Confound it all! I knew something was afoul when it said two-player! I HATE two-player!" Sure enough, the Evil Emperor Zurg's avatar warped into the virtual reality realm of ones and zeroes, and he did what he did best: being a pain in the rear. He had gotten into this mess by finding a free-copy in the mail and since he was such a sucker for free things--hey, don't look a gift moozle in the mouth--he just had to try it and see what all the hullabaloo was about! That said, it was made by CompuKlerm, and the Evil Emperor really just wanted an excuse to make a mess of it, too.
"Wow, they didn't specify about a Buzz Lightyear program." The horned ruler commented upon seeing Lightyear just stand there like a noob at an evil villain seminar, going over towards the awkwardly-looking Space Ranger. Was he in...jeans and a tacky denim jacket? Craters, no wonder he hardly ever saw the man out of regulation uniform. CRATERS, even Zurg was in his usual battle regalia! Never left home without it.
Still, the Evil Emperor was a curious being and he began to inspect his counterfoe with an acute eye.
As well as a touchy hand.
"Ooooh, and he feels so real, too! Nice, very nice..." Zurg remarked to himself as he pinched on of Lightyear's cheeks with those metal-plated talons of his. "Whatever will those geeks down in CompuKlerm think of next?"
Speaking of which, he owed that brat a little two-for-one special with his fists...
|
|
|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 9, 2010 16:09:07 GMT -5
Buzz rolled his eyes and groaned. Apparently for once, his arch-nemesis was a little slow on the uptake.
“Hey!” …At least it wasn’t the bruised cheek. Buzz couldn’t slap Zurg’s hand away with his bare hand, so he grabbed the Evil Emperor’s hand by the wrist and moved it away from his face. “It’s what CompuKlerm thought of this time that bothers me. Hate to break it to you, Zurg, but I’m as much the Real Deal as you are. Is this how you reacted when you first met my alternate evil self?” Oh, he could’ve paid big money to see that.
Letting go of Zurg’s wrist, Buzz took a couple of steps back and stared up at the sky. “Where’s the exit hatch?”
“You can’t leave the game until it’s finished, Mr. Lightyear!”
“WHAT?? You mean I’m STUCK here with HIM until I – we – WHATEVER – have won?? I don’t even know HOW I’m supposed to win this stupid thing!”
“Shh – chill out! I have to greet your partner!” The Guide took a moment’s pause – apparently ignoring Buzz throwing his arms up in the air and stalking a few yards away – then addressed Zurg: “Welcome to the world of Tirnari! I am the Guide, and you are~?”
|
|
|
Post by eez on Feb 9, 2010 17:13:14 GMT -5
"Ooohoohohoho! You ARE real~! Well doesn't that just float your cruiser in 0G?"
Being one to always play the role of the large ham, Zurg took his digits away from the disgruntled Star Commando--or whatever they called themselves now--and proceeded to cross his arms against his chest smugly as he briefly took a moment to survey the virtual realm.
"Exit hatch? Puh-lease; are you that far behind!? Get with the program!" The Evil Emperor scoffed at his out-of-the-loop nemesis. "This is a virtual reality game! You don't click 'x' or press ALT + F4! No, no, no--you beat the dungeon, gank on the lowbies, and then--if you're really nasty--go and tank the boss while your party focuses on dps! A healer is wise to have, of course."
When Zurg heard the virtual guide speak, however, he shut up real quick and slapped his already flat face with a groan.
"Oh no...Please tell me they did NOT use Brent Starkisser's voice..." But they did, and Zurg could only mock sob into his hand as he was addressed.
"I am the Evil. Emperor. ZURG! Scourge of the Cosmos, and the victor champion of the Cosmic Dawn in Galaxy of Astrocraft!" He said proudly, puffing out his chest. "I own several lv.200s and a complete set of world devastation armour."
It seemed the purple fiend was rather right at home playing these kinds of games.
"So! Guide! Tell me, what's this game about? Do I get to pummel Lightyear?" He asked, studying the arena around them. "Or...is this some two-player shindig to where I have team up with Lightbozo over here and defeat mobs? Can't say this reminds me of a PvP server..."
|
|
|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 10, 2010 14:59:01 GMT -5
“Yeah, thanks for noticing,” Buzz muttered irritably, folding his arms.
Buzz turned to stare at Zurg. He had… next to no idea of what Zurg just said. Terrific. He really was that out of the loop here.
Buzz couldn’t help snickering a little. At least he wasn’t the only one who’d be driven crazy by Starkisser’s voice…
Buzz face-palmed. This just got better and better, didn’t it? He was stuck in a virtual-reality game with the Evil Emperor Zurg for a partner and Starkisser’s voice for a Guide, PLUS Zurg seemed to know EVERYTHING about these games! Argh, he should’ve taken XR up on his offer for a game tournament!
“Sorry, Mr. Evil Emperor – no pummeling! You and Mr. Lightyear are partners for the duration of the game! Here in Tirnari Quest, you two will have to face down enemies and other challenges to reach the High King of Tirnari in the capital city Arama. The High King will then send you on a mission to defeat Anatos, Lord of Death and archenemy of Tirnari!”
Buzz’s first impression was that the Guide sounded way too cheerful, under the circumstances.
((Honestly, that was all I could come up with. If you have a better idea for the game, go ahead and post it, and I’ll just delete the explanation part in this post.))
|
|
|
Post by eez on Feb 10, 2010 15:13:12 GMT -5
"Eh....I've dealt with worse..." Zurg muttered while tossing a hand towards the invisible guide airily.
Okay, so the situation wasn't entirely that bad. Sure, the guide sounded like Starkisser and Klerm designed this game, but it wasn't completely wrecked. Well, then again, Lightyear over here didn't quite look like he knew what he was doing.
Oh how deliciously evil~!
"Oh, Lightyear~!" Zurg cooed out to the man, rubbing his plated talons in a most scheming fashion as he was wont to do when excited about something or other. "Since we're teamed up for great justice and whatnot and we need to defeat various bosses in order to escape, do you already have a class picked out in mind~? I daresay you should do so if you haven't!"
Oh this'll be good. If Zurg got a Trident of Apocalyptic Smiting, it was all over for the Space Ranger.
((No, no! I think it works! We just need to pick our classes so we make a well-balanced team. Or, you can have "Brett" over there assign them to us~! A little evil hint: Zurg HATES magic-type castes, especially white mages....))
|
|
|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 10, 2010 18:22:36 GMT -5
((Okay, thanks! …UMM… class? D’argh, what was I thinking when I suggested “game”?? I’m so far over my head, it’s not even funny! …Although your post did make me laugh… Luckily, I don’t think Buzz would know all that much about games, either, so at least we’re in the same boat and my ignorance won’t take him OOC. ;D))
On long-term instinct, Buzz’s left hand moved slowly up his right arm, only for his brain to remember that he was in civvies rather than in-uniform. He just did not like Zurg’s sudden attitude – it meant trouble, every time.
Buzz stared at Zurg for five seconds before replying, “Umm… class?” Great. JUST. GREAT. Nothing like admitting that you have NO idea WHAT the GALAXY you’re doing, but he sure couldn’t fake knowing in this case.
He looked up at the sky and asked, “What’s this about classes?”
“Why don’t you ask your friend? It sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.”
Buzz face-palmed. “He’s not my friend! And you’re the one who’s supposed to be answering questions!”
|
|
|
Post by eez on Feb 10, 2010 20:49:09 GMT -5
".....You're kidding....right...?"
That was all Zurg wanted to say.
Oh Cosmos, by the stunned, baby face of Lightyear, did the man NOT know how to play a regular MMO!? Seriously!? What day of age was this!? Even Darkmatter occasionally dabbled in them whenever the man was bored at his lofty penthouse!
"You....You really don't know how this works, do you."
And thus began those evil, oily gears a'grinding while the Evil Emperor felt a delicious grin take his face.
"On the contrary, Lightyear; you need me this time~! Ohohoho." Here came the gloat. "For once! Once! My archnemesis, Buzz Lightyear, doesn't know what to do and I do! Not that I usually don't, which is not the case, just that...oh, NEVER MIND! The fact is! Buzz Lightyear doesn't know how to play a classic MMO and he needs me in order to defeat the game! AHAHAHAHAHAH!"
Oh yes, Zurg was going to enjoy this one.
"Guide, why don't you elaborate for my poor, uneducated friend here that he needs to choose a class so we can begin." The Evil Emperor cooed mockingly. "Also, what's the current selection? Rogue? Mage? Warrior? Paladin? I think Lightyear here--with his brawns--would make a decent warrior enough. Mmm, maybe a tank to absorb all the damage~!"
Ooooooh yes. Zurg was going to enjoy this SO much.
((XDDDD I figured as much. Classes are fairly simple--Warrior for classing attack and whack, Mage for support and magic damage, Rogues for sneaky tricks and good stealth, and then the hybrid classes such as Paladins that are good for tank (taking damage), attack, and holy magic. There's more than that, of course, so let me know if you want Lightyear to be any class!))
|
|
|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 11, 2010 15:36:13 GMT -5
Oh no, here it comes…
Eyebrows drawing together, Buzz folded his arms and looked away with a slight pout. This was just… oh, when had Lady Luck started to fail him?? Maybe he’d abused her or something… wait, wait, abuse his own luck? …Nah.
Friend?? OKAY, that was just asking for payback, and if Buzz got the opportunity, he would very happily deliver.
A damage-absorbing tank sounded good, as long as he didn’t have to lug it around. But if he didn’t have to carry a tank, where was it, then? “Inside” him, or could you pull it out of thin air?
…When he got home, he was going to make it a point to study up on this stuff. Apparently, you never know when something as trivial as game knowledge will come in handy.
“Okaaaay… Mr. Lightyear? A character class defines what you’ll do in the game and what your strengths and limits are. In this game, you’ll play Paladin, which is a warrior-type role. Mr. Evil Emperor? You’ll be a white mage – that way, you two will be nicely interdependent on each other!”
Buzz raised an eyebrow and shook his head. I guess I’ll figure things out as the game progresses.
|
|
|
Post by eez on Feb 12, 2010 1:29:06 GMT -5
"Oh c'mon! That's just cruel!" Zurg objected like a little child did when they didn't get what they wanted for the Holidays. He even threw his arms in the air and had a pout. "Why is Lightyear a paladin and me--ME!--a white mage! I HATE MAGIC CASTES!"
But there was no use shouting it. Not now.
"Oh, fine! Whatever keeps us alive!" Zurg growled off to the side, his arms still locked across his chest. "So long as Lightyear knows how to keep his buffs up and doesn't forget he's the tank. And no, it's not an actual tank--I see that expression upon your face! A tank in an MMO means that person absorbs a fair amount of damage and also draws the monsters' attention onto themselves. Since I'm the white mage--ugh--you MUST keep those monsters drawn on you; otherwise, my low DEF and ATK stats won't hold a singularity against them."
In short, Lightyear was the one who went out to dish physical damage and Zurg had the sorry job of making sure Lightyear was healed and buffed regularly to keep on fighting. If he didn't, those monsters would be after his hide and since he just failed miserably with magic types, the Evil Emperor wasn't about to risk handling all the damage himself.
"Now that we finally got our roles figured out, do we get a virtual costume change? I rather do like some of the robes magic-type users get~! So regal and flowing! A real plus in the fashion department." Of course, Zurg also felt envious that Lightyear would get a good amount of heavy armour, but can't have it all, it seemed.
When he was done with this, he was so going to bombard CompuKlerm with spam mail and viruses.
|
|
|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 12, 2010 15:03:16 GMT -5
Buzz smirked. Maybe this could be fun, after all.
Buzz raised an eyebrow again. “In other words, I’m the bait with a bite and you’re… what, supporting role or something?” It was almost kinda funny.
“You bet! The dressing rooms are right over there – Buzz gets Room 1, and you get Room 2! Once you’re finished, you’ll get a brief lesson about Tirnari before leaving the arena and starting the game!” Armor. Finally. Buzz jogged over to his assigned room and stepped in. Huh, pretty typical dressing room – oh, but the armor was anything but typical.
Oh yes.
He changed into the form-fitting black bodysuit, then picked up the chest-plate of the armor. Ohhh, it was a beauty – glossy black, with silver and blue accents. He donned the armor quickly. There was a long, broad-bladed sword that was strapped to his belt, and some sort of mask… He set it over his face, and instantly, metal cascaded from the mask and over his head. Oh! So it was some sort of compact helmet! Sweet!
He removed the helmet and found that he could attach it to the back of his armor. He flexed his hands, wondering if the gauntlets could do anything… Something zipped out of his right wrist and embedded itself in the wall. Frowning, he moved over to pull it out. A dart. His right gauntlet fired darts. Magnificent. Now what did the other hand do…
Metal cascaded out of the left gauntlet in the form of a shield, about 3.5 feet long and 2.5 feet wide. He grinned, and shook that forearm. The shield cascaded back into the gauntlet.
He cast a glance at himself in the mirror before heading out… and stopped.
Was that him? …’Cause, wow, he looked different. Black apparently suited him well. Smirking, he shook his head and exited the room. “Zurg? Are you done yet?”
|
|
|
Post by eez on Feb 14, 2010 4:15:22 GMT -5
"Hang on, hang on! There's no fire, boy scout!" Zurg called out in annoyance, slamming the door shut so that no peeping toms would get a little show before they started their campaign. Unlike Lightyear, Zurg simply recalled common MMO commands and skipped the hassle of undressing down to his skinnies (which would have taken forever).
"/wardrobe." He stated simply, waiting for the dressing room programming to register his words. With a golden flash, his normal battle regalia changed from purple to white, and the Evil Emperor was covered from horn to boot in white robes. Sure, he had a hood to cover his head, arcane glyphs placed here and there upon the fabric, and artistic patterns upon the sleeves and torso area, but nothing could take the distaste from the stark contrast of his skin away.
"Yuck...White is so not my colour." Zurg mumbled, admiring himself with his own eyes. At least the gold trimmings around the hood weren't so bad...
Taking up the curved staff that was a signature sight for most white mages, the Evil Emperor checked himself one last time before exiting the dressing room and standing before Lightyear.
Sure enough, his counterfoe was wearing paladin armour, and Zurg had to admit, the man did look quite the player in it. Bulky and new, but quite the player.
"Just remember, Lightyear: you have the armour, you take the damage." The Evil Emperor reminded with the usual scowl. He didn't like feeling so...naked without his armour, but it had to be done if he were to be the support role. Hope his INT was high enough because Lightyear looked like he would need quite a bit of buffing early on to get the feel of things.
"Guess we're ready to go." He addressed to the guide, hand firmly wrapped around the mage's staff. "What's our first quest?"
|
|
|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 16, 2010 6:31:36 GMT -5
“Okay, okay,” Buzz said, throwing up his hands. Huh… he was in black, and Zurg was in white. Irony. The really interesting part, though, was that Zurg rather looked like he fit his role.
“You need to get to the capital, Arama,” the Guide replied cheerily. “Along the way, you’ll meet the High King’s daughter, Rhiannon, and if you stick with her, she’ll lead you right to the city! But be careful – Anatos has agents who pretend to be Rhiannon to lure you to him! If you come across any villages or people in trouble, be sure to lend a hand! That will always help your game sooner or later.”[/i]
“So we can go now?” Buzz asked.
On the far side of the arena, a door slid open in answer. “Good luck, players, and let the game begin!”
|
|
|
Post by eez on Feb 17, 2010 1:09:56 GMT -5
"Right, get to capital city, meet up with royalty, bash some skulls." Zurg reiterated as he pretended to swing his staff and knock a few heads off their roosts. How he loathed magic castes...
"Well, guess we better get to it!" The Evil White Mage chirped excitedly, making some last adjustments to his attire. "You need to lead, Lightyear. Won't make much sense for a white mage to go first and aggro the mobs! I'll die a whole lot faster that way!" He grumbled.
And if it was one thing he loathed more than being a magic caste, it was the absolute fact that Lightyear got to lead the way and take initiative.
|
|
|
Post by Skyfire on Feb 18, 2010 7:11:32 GMT -5
Buzz smirked. “I guess we can’t have that, can we.” Of course, he understood the whole “interdependency” thing, but it was just funny that Zurg was just as dependent on Buzz as Buzz was dependent on Zurg.
Chewing the smirk back down, he strode forward and out of the arena. Once outside, they could see that they were on a mountain, and beneath them, the land sprawled out for many miles. It was forest land, mostly, except that there appeared to be a town or something on the horizon. It was a beautiful view.
Buzz grinned slightly and shrugged. “Well, at least it’s all down hill for a few minutes,” he commented as he took to the trail that wound down the mountainside. “Gotta give CompuKlerm credit for one thing – they sure created some beautiful scenery.”
|
|