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Post by Skyfire on Oct 19, 2009 14:44:10 GMT -5
…Okay, this is gonna sound crazy as I say this, but if anyone has any more negative criticism – please leave it for tomorrow. My day very suddenly turned, well, kinda rotten, and negative criticism is absolutely the LAST thing on Earth that I need right now. I did whip out the entire chapter yesterday in the midst of the worst sore throat I’ve had in months, so maybe that affected the story. *is tired* I dunno. “Yukari Factor” has nothing in it about Jo-ad – “Root of Evil” does strongly imply that it’s the biggest food-producer in the galaxy, but again, it can’t be the only one. None of the fields themselves were destroyed, and… Okay, y’know what? I think that I can change that… maybe… D’argh! The problem is that we don’t know that many planets in the GA, and when listing out the different worlds that had been bombarded, I typed down the ones I could remember that had some kind of significance. Should I make up some worlds? Do you guys have any suggestions? …It’s possible that I can still pull this all together, make it realistic, make it make sense. …And maybe I already have some serious rewriting to do – don’t forget, this is still an unfinished fic all around. I must admit, though: I’d sure hate to give up the Zurg scene if it comes to that. …I should stop now. I’m probably not making much sense, and I’m slipping into depression on account of my cold.
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Post by eez on Oct 19, 2009 15:01:44 GMT -5
I think it's a disease--Rotten Father Syndrome--because there are numerous instances of it cropping up lately. *cough*likemine*cough*
The way I see it, Steel was offering you some constructive criticism--so it had a more realistic bite, but I wouldn't say it was negative. You know it's negative when someone flames you and then offers no reason or warrant as to why you were being harassed.
But anyway, Steel did have a valid point; and I'm not just saying that cause we're both awesome, cracktastical Zurg buddies. If you wanted to make it seem more realistic, then perhaps you could have embargoed Jo-Ad. That way, the GA would be required to surrender faster since Jo-Ad is--I hate to say this--the biggest producer of food in the GA. All the smaller subsidies might not cut it, you know? And as for Bathyos, it's a water planet. Bombarding is not logical, since water is a good dampener on bombs and such explosives.
This is how I would go about it. For Jo-Ad and Bathyos: embargo. For Mahamba VI and Trade World: set up a perimeter and regulate a tolling area; you know, so you can tax tourists and the like as they passed into the planets. Make it both ways, if you're particularly evil.
But don't bomb them. When you say bombard, you sound like you decimated them; like the Evil Lightyear would. And I must admit, Zurg isn't the wanton destruction kind of guy. Sure, he doesn't clean up after himself like XR mentioned, but he doesn't cause a mess if he knows he can't handle the aftermath. They must have practical usage to him if he wants an empire, no?
Can't reap what you have destroyed.
Alas. Get some rest, feel better, and then when you are up to it: seriously sit down and think what a galactic dictator would do. Who would they destroy? Who would they conquer and keep in their pocket? And if you can, make sure you think ahead several chapters in, too. That'll make the fic run much more smoothly, I think.
Hope that helped!
And I see improvement in that Zurg artwork~! His face is what does it, baby~!
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Post by Skyfire on Oct 19, 2009 15:19:07 GMT -5
…I did say I have a cold. I have a tendency to get depressed easily and say things when I have a cold. Sorry, Steel! SCANNING FOR DATA… GOOD SUGGESTIONS CONFIRMED… FOLLOW-UP ADVISED… ;D Can I still keep a bombardment, though? Somewhere? I dunno, I just wanna have one esplossun in there somewhere. =( Yes, ma’am. ^^ But I do tend to write more fanfic when I’m sick, ‘cause I have more time on my hands and my brain just won’t work for the more serious stuff like my original work… =( And… argh, it’s hard to figure out these early chapters! I’m pretty sure I know how I’m gonna handle the last few – well, sort of, anyway – but all the chapters BEFORE are a just a bunch of sketchy ideas! *sighs* Maybe I should try to create a timeline… Oh, it does, it does! Thank you! Looking back over the story thus far… yeah, I definitely need help. Thank you! *grins* I just need to keep using references, and hopefully Zurg will just start coming naturally to me like Buzz does!
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Post by eez on Oct 19, 2009 15:25:58 GMT -5
Muahaha! So you want to bombard, eh?
Well then let's go about this like an Evil Emperor, shall we?
Of all the planets we know, who is a threat to Zurg? Capital Planet--sure, that's a given--but that's our intended target to conquer! We need that for a showcase trophy so let's find another target to blow up into space dust.
We need Jo-Ad and Bathyos, as those are prime food staples. We need Trade World and Mahamba VI as those are good places for the economy. Rhizome? Hmmm, it could be good for green technology and they do have some rather nice mood gardens...
Gargantia is rather...puny; sorry Gargantians. Verdentia is hardly talked about, and is relatively peaceful. It's hardly any fun. Binipinardia, no....Sentilla 6, no...KARN!? Nah, Zurg would just make a face and just turn a thumb down like a real Emperor would.
AHAH!
Methinks I have found a perfect target for you to destroy!
Raenok.
Ohohohoho, yes. Raenok is a bastion of fighters and evil goods! If Zurg took down Raenok, it would mean that his military might was superb! It would not only frighten the galaxy, but it would eliminate one of the more prominent threats to a fledgling evil empire! Sure, Raenoks are evil, but they also back-stab and that's not something we want in our evil empire, is it?
So I'd say bombard Raenok, teach those Raenoks a lesson, and then release PC-7 inmates. Would cause for some delightfully evil fun, no?
And good luck on the rest of your fic! I struggle in the beginning chapters too...I know the end, it's just the middle!
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Post by Skyfire on Oct 19, 2009 15:40:06 GMT -5
Raenok! O.O That’ll work! And PC-7! *facepalms* WHY did I forget PC-7?? I just saw “The Taking of PC-7” several times last week for crying out loud!! (Several times ‘cause I has little brother who likes to repeat. xDDD)
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, O WISE AND POWERFUL EVIL EMPEROR!! *bows*
Yep, those blasted middles and beginnings. *shakes head*
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Post by eez on Oct 19, 2009 15:50:16 GMT -5
Ohohohoho, your groveling pleases me. *cape swish, horns in air proudly*
But yes! I would totally bombard Raenok, make everyone panic at my might--as it's not the power you have, but it's the power you make people THINK you have--and watch as they bow before me! AHAHAH! And with Raenok out of the way, Jo-Ad and Bathyos embargoed so starvation would run rampant, and Trade World and Mahamba VI isolated so that the economy would freeze, I'd dare say you'd have a foolproof evil plan!
Plus with PC-7 released, the Space Rangers would be scattered making it easier to conquer!
But don't quote me on it.....Stuff happens, and with Star Command still in the game, that goes double!
Figure out a way to neutralize it, and the galaxy is as good as yours.
Oh and make sure Tangea pays royal tribute, too. Those snobs on their thrones! There's only ONE throne in an empire and it's yours! XDDDDD
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Post by Skyfire on Oct 19, 2009 16:22:51 GMT -5
*giggles* Star Command… yesss… must work that out more… Tangea paying royal tribute… Ooo, King Nova would SHOOT the messenger if there was one, lol. Okay, won’t quote, but will credit. Seriously, EEZ, thank you very much for all your help.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 19, 2009 16:27:54 GMT -5
We're only trying to help. And I'm in a better mood now, and I can see that I was probably pretty biting. Didn't mean to come across as that. It's my frustration at being unable to enjoy anything anymore. Sorry about sounding like that. I was only trying to help you improve. <333
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Post by eez on Oct 19, 2009 16:29:20 GMT -5
But of course! It's my job to aid those in the ways of Evil~!
If you ever need any help, ever, I'm here and so is Steel! Isn't that right, Steel. *smacks awake with a brief back tap* She is awake!
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Post by Skyfire on Oct 19, 2009 17:34:09 GMT -5
Well, in case you haven’t picked up on this yet, I AM hyper-sensitive, unfortunately – especially when I’m sick. You don’t have to apologize! Aww, how come you can’t enjoy anything anymore? *hugs* <3333 D’awww, thanks, guys! <3333 Yep, I need more training in the Dark Side, apparently. ^^ …I WANT A CAPE. ;D
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