Post by Eclipse'd on May 16, 2008 21:41:00 GMT -5
She sounds very cute. This story has lots of potential, but can I throw in just a bit of constructive criticism for a minute? I can't say much about the Sonic side of it because I've only played like one game.
It's very hard to believe a 12 year old can complete the highest level of training as if it was nothing. Even when Mira was on level 10, she still was shot down before she got back up and continued fighting. It's usually not great to start off with a character more powerful than Buzz Lightyear himself. Remember, in this universe he is a living legend and the best space ranger ever. That's why the show is named after him ^.^
Also, try to add in a few more details if you can. I like to try and picture in my mind what's going on. Like Kelsey, does she look just like Miles but with an extra tail and purple? Is she like half the size of XR or about the same height? Is she all purple with the jade tails or does she have white patches on her fur? What about her hair, is it long, short, in a ponytail, pigtails, etc?
The more details the better. Like what about her background story? Where did she come from and why did she decide to be a ranger? Did she start off in the junior space ranger program? I also don't understand the "Chaos Abilities." Bending space and time? Does that cost energy or make her tired if she does it too much? I would have loved to read more about the scene where she fought the robots, it was like they came out and suddenly they were destroyed, but how?
I'm also not convinced that Buzz would accept her so quickly. Even if she was impressive with her abilities, he might still be hesitant because he wouldn't want to put a 12 year old child in harm's way.
Anyways, I hope that helps a little bit. Like I said earlier, this looks like it could be a really good story. I've never read a fic that crossed the Sonic world with the BLoSC world and it sounds very interesting ^.^
It's very hard to believe a 12 year old can complete the highest level of training as if it was nothing. Even when Mira was on level 10, she still was shot down before she got back up and continued fighting. It's usually not great to start off with a character more powerful than Buzz Lightyear himself. Remember, in this universe he is a living legend and the best space ranger ever. That's why the show is named after him ^.^
Also, try to add in a few more details if you can. I like to try and picture in my mind what's going on. Like Kelsey, does she look just like Miles but with an extra tail and purple? Is she like half the size of XR or about the same height? Is she all purple with the jade tails or does she have white patches on her fur? What about her hair, is it long, short, in a ponytail, pigtails, etc?
The more details the better. Like what about her background story? Where did she come from and why did she decide to be a ranger? Did she start off in the junior space ranger program? I also don't understand the "Chaos Abilities." Bending space and time? Does that cost energy or make her tired if she does it too much? I would have loved to read more about the scene where she fought the robots, it was like they came out and suddenly they were destroyed, but how?
I'm also not convinced that Buzz would accept her so quickly. Even if she was impressive with her abilities, he might still be hesitant because he wouldn't want to put a 12 year old child in harm's way.
Anyways, I hope that helps a little bit. Like I said earlier, this looks like it could be a really good story. I've never read a fic that crossed the Sonic world with the BLoSC world and it sounds very interesting ^.^
