Post by greedyslayer on Jul 16, 2008 13:03:45 GMT -5
First Meeting Redux by greedyslayer
Notes: I make fun of my favorite character. And probably end up teasing the entire show. Even though I do have the necessary ep. links to get to refresh my memory, I have worries about crashing my computer with the download (I'm computer-ignorant/paranoid); so, my XL characterization depends entirely on the kindness of someone vid. streaming "Revenge of the Monsters" (a great, and favorite ep. of mine), and will probably be rusty/off--so apologies in advance (then again, I could maybe rationalize it all by pointing out how it's all comedy
).
"Buy you a drink?" XL had been idly sneaking looks, and gradually paying witness to some skinny looking 'bot cream his opponents at poker. He had gathered up all his winnings and seemed as if he were aware of, and was pleased by the losers' glares boring into his back.
The bot paused at his offer, red optics staring at him for a few seconds (XL guessed he was mulling it over), before murmuring a soft, "All right." He hovered over to the stool, and took pains to be dignified as he struggled to sit down; XL had seen legless bots before, but they still kinda weirded him out--he couldn't imagine going without legs, even if perpetually hovering for compensation. And this guy looked really...vertical and straight and inflexible in structure; or maybe it really was simply the absence of legs that made seating down a foreign and thus difficult action. But XL thought he oughta feel a little honored, 'cause he saw at the poker table that this bot never sat down while systematically beating the whole lot of gamblers. And here he was, trying to sit down.
The winner finally managed it. Then he rose a little off the stool to pull out the cloak and just let it hang off, instead of having it pinned against his body.
"Whadda you like?"
"I'll just have the same as you, please." Manners here, what a hoot.
"'Kay. Hey, Bartender! Couple pints of Valkyrian Oil here, huh?" A tentacle at the other edge of the bar wave busied acknowledgement at XL, then he turned back to the shorter bot. "So, what do I call you?"
"Nos-4-A2. And you?"
"XL."
Nos blinked back at him slowly. "Well, familiar face, familiar name."
"Wh--"
"Valkyrian Oil is alcoholic, yes?"
"Yeah, you know, a beer."
"I don't understand the point; intoxicating beverages are for organics."
"Hey, no fair if they get all the good stuff!"
"Exactly how is this...different from standard oil?"
"Tastes better and makes you go kinda loopy." A thought occured. "This your first time Nos-4-A2?"
"Yes." XL could tell he was trying to hide his embarrassment, and doing a relatively good job of it (but claws tapping restlessly against the steel enamel of the bar surface while looking a little too bored, resting his chin against his free fist--all were early clues).
"So, how long you been online?"
Nos seemed to consider, then replied, "About a year."
XL nodded, then broached the topic again. "You said I reminded you of someone; you've gotten in trouble with some rangers before?"
Nos stopped tapping and dropped his mask of boredom entirely; "So you do know XR," then his optics narrowed, "Or more like you're related to him."
The taller bot shrugged; "Kid brother."
Nos actually smiled; "So the Little One wasn't the first prototype..."
"Yeah yeah," XL waved a careless claw, then asked, "You got any annoying siblings?"
"No." But then Nos seemed to reconsider. "Unless I count over a million older ones, and over a million younger ones..."
"Ah; your dad's some big-shot factory owner, huh? Or that your mom?"
"Father," Nos replied curtly, and XL knew perfectly well--from his own experience--not to pick at that; still, he could silently sympathize for a second. Then the oil finally came, and he happily took a gulp from his. As he drank, out of one curious optic he watched Nos; with one clawed finger, the younger bot carefully circled the rim of the goblet, before rolling his optics and picking it up, but then just taking a slow, drawn-out sip. Already there were signs of disgust on his face, but he at least swallowed before he gagged, and the way he blehhed was rather--well, he looked really young then and kiddish.
"So, what kinda trouble did you get in with Star Command?"
The younger bot blew out a sigh, glaring into his drink. XL at least refrained from patting him on the back when he offered, "Hey buddy, everyone messes up with those bozos, 'specially that Lightyear guy..."
He snapped--and XL wondered how physically susceptible Nos was to the oil's effects--"Well, I rather believe your failure pales in comparison with mine; I doubt you were ever in the heart of their Command Center--" but then Nos seemed to remember exactly who he was talking to, grunting a small, "Never mind." He took another sip, and blehhed again.
XL, on the other hand, felt the other coin drop; "Nos-4--Hey, you're that energy vampire!"
"Yes."
"Huh." XL took another gulp, and Nos switched his glaring from the drink to him.
"Well?"
"What?"
"You're honestly not going to amount an assault or attempt an escape? Aren't you going to wonder why I haven't drained you by now?"
"Oh. Well," he gestured around the bar room, "there've been a bunch of other bots, an' I was watching you beat those guys at poker, and you just played against them--you haven't tried to eat anyone when you had a bunch of chances to start something."
Nos hissed as he glared back at the drink, and XL could tell he was a little uncomfortable again. "I wanted to see what a bar was actually like," he admitted in a low voice.
"So...how do you like it?" Nos raised a claw and gave a 'meh' gesture. XL nodded, drank again, and so did Nos, who once again gagged cleanly, no spillage. XL frowned thoughtfully; he took another gulp, and Nos sipped once more, gag included. XL drank; Nos drank and gagged. XL did it one more time, and Nos copied him again, before he asked, "You trying to drink me under the table?"
Nos gave him a blank stare.
XL smiled, then said, "We gotta do it officially."
"Official?"
"A drinking contest."
"Oh," and Nos gave a lopsided smirk, XL already detecting the rising heat in his neighbor's steel, "All right."
...
"I'm beat you."
"Programming says 'na-uh;' go another round."
"Cool. Hey, Bartender!" And XL hailed down more Valkyrian oil, and requested once more that they leave the entire tankard. XL wasn't taking advantage, he really wasn't; Nos was just really determined to win, though he was clearly less experienced at keeping a level head while under the influence. Nos, for his part, was relieved he had stopped gagging, though XL would say that would be due to the 'loopy' side-effects taking hold; the vampire had seemed so stiff before, but he showed how flexible he could be--he was much more loose, and constantly fidgeting in his stool. His wings were out and occasionally they gestured wildly, accidentally knocking into passer-bys who got close enough; these guys were either too drunk to notice they were pushed by a bunch of wings, or sober enough that XL had to look over his shoulder and smooth over tempers and just generally convey how absolutely incapacitated his compatriot was.
"X--XR--I mean XL--"
"What?"
"What, whatIhaveanidea--"
"What kinda idea?"
"Universal dominatrix--an idea of the universal domination kind, I'm not even exactly certain what a dominatrix is..."
"Tell you later--you idea?"
"Werewolves," Nos said with utter confidence, then blinked and shook his head, "What? No no, wirewolves, Wirewolf, Reindeer Parsec Ranger Parsec--"
"Wirewolf?"
"Ya huh, I was on this moon, and I was eating and then I found Lil' One and I was gonna torture him a bit and then take him back, but then Ranger Parsec stopped me and then there was Lightyear and I bit him--"
"You bit Buzzo?"
"Na-uh, I bit Parsec, and I don't like blood, tastes awful, worse than veggies, I didn't mean to eat that stuff but I did by accident at Cosmix--Costcos--Cosmopolitan--"
"I thought you said you were on a moon?"
"Parsec blood on moon, veggies on Comicazes, Comicon--"
"You bit Parsec--"
"Yeah, I did! And it was disgusting I wasn't hungry anymore even though I get hungry a lot and that always aches, but, but--"
"But?"
"My bite had apparently infected Parsec, but only a reaction to the moon made him transform into Wirewolf, which is exactly as it sounds, a robotic wolf that likes to feed on other robots like me."
XL blinked at how clear that sounded. But more pressingly, he began, "You're a vampire, why's he a wirewoo--"
"I know, it makes no sense," Nos replied flatly. He continued, "But it will be to my advantage--our advantage."
"Our?"
"Uh huh, I need your help."
"We'll be, like, partners?"
"Yesssss..." Nos raised the cup and tipped it toward his mouth; nothing. He squinted at its emptiness, then moved to pour another. XL cut him off and poured more for him, fully expecting the vampire to make a mess given the chance.
"This Parsec guy still wolf-y?"
"No, XR...well, maybe not just XR, those other rangers probably helped him blow up the moon but--" Then Nos fiddled with some inner compartment in his forearm, its indicative line coming to view at his touch; he slid the panel open, pulled out a green rock on a chain, then slid it closed.
"But I still have a lil' piece of moon, and with this we can make Parsec wolf-y again, and then I'll hypnotize him and then we--"
"Jewelry?"
"What?"
"We're gonna be dominatrixes--I mean, we're gonna take over the universe with jewelry?"
"It's a moon rock and it's on a necklace so that Parsec can wear it easily--"
"Okay okay, what do we do after you hypnotize the guy?"
"Then we will build this new weapon that'll use Wirewolf to turn everyone else into Wirewolves, like...like...like what Dad did with the Unibrain thing."
"Oh yeah, I remember that...everyone was red-glowy-eyed and grouchy and liked blowing stuff up with me--"
"You were there? I mean, you saw that takeover?"
"Oh yeah, it was something else. Emperor Zurg really outdid himself there."
Maybe the drinking was starting to get to him now, cause XL thought Nos looked a little proud over that.
...
"Am I offline?" XL could not blame Nos for thinking that; he certainly looked like he was on his death bed.
"Nah; just hung over." The vampire blinked blearily at him, the red in his optics muted. "Relax; the bar was closing, and I just took you to my place, to just, y'know, rest a little 'till you get back on your feet--er, well--y'know what I mean." All right, XL felt a little guilty over letting the guy drink that much. Nos struggled to get up from the cot, and XL blew down the urge to push him down; it would probably just irritate him more. So he let him struggle and tire himself out, though XL did try to surreptitiously kneel down and help disentangle his wings, fold them back, even though a frowning Nos kept scratching at him. Then they both cooperated and just spread the wings flat on the cot and the floor.
"Where?"
"We're just in some cheap apartment complex, one of the lower sectors." XL reached behind him, pulling at the small package. "Here, this'll help make you feel better; just suck on it." He pulled out one of the Ache-Away chips and plopped it in Nos' mouth, who acted on cue and pierced the thing, quietly slurping. "You're gonna have to take more than one, and it'll be like forty minutes in between each one."
A few seconds later, the younger bot spat it out; "Empty."
XL set his timer. Nos squeezed his optics shut, ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth, the sides, the bottom.
Then he exhaled; "I have to say, being intoxicated really inspires me."
"What?" Nos looked annoyed, then began to rise, and doing a better job than last time; still, he had to lean against the wall.
"You forgot!" Accused the vampire indignantly.
"Forgot what?"
"My--our plan!"
"Oh, that." As it looked like the vampire was gonna snap something else, XL continued, "You said we were gonna use that Parsec guy to turn everyone else into wirewolves."
Nos nodded, then seemed to regret that, as he slid down the wall and now laid half on the cot, half off. XL blinked, then moved to help him up, but then the vampire started slurring again.
"I need you to get pass Sta--SC, grab Parsley, Parsec, and get to my new base, and help make the Zurgeridiotic--my deat--my wirewolf ray." The vampire raised himself back up, addressed XL confidently, though he instead stared pointedly at the small tv console. "It's a good plan." Nos shook his head, finding XL and looking back up at him expectedly.
The bot looked ridiculously--well, how could XL say no?
"Count me in."
...
The third time Nos proposed his plan, XL felt much better about following the younger bot after hearing the sober version of it.
Notes: I make fun of my favorite character. And probably end up teasing the entire show. Even though I do have the necessary ep. links to get to refresh my memory, I have worries about crashing my computer with the download (I'm computer-ignorant/paranoid); so, my XL characterization depends entirely on the kindness of someone vid. streaming "Revenge of the Monsters" (a great, and favorite ep. of mine), and will probably be rusty/off--so apologies in advance (then again, I could maybe rationalize it all by pointing out how it's all comedy
)."Buy you a drink?" XL had been idly sneaking looks, and gradually paying witness to some skinny looking 'bot cream his opponents at poker. He had gathered up all his winnings and seemed as if he were aware of, and was pleased by the losers' glares boring into his back.
The bot paused at his offer, red optics staring at him for a few seconds (XL guessed he was mulling it over), before murmuring a soft, "All right." He hovered over to the stool, and took pains to be dignified as he struggled to sit down; XL had seen legless bots before, but they still kinda weirded him out--he couldn't imagine going without legs, even if perpetually hovering for compensation. And this guy looked really...vertical and straight and inflexible in structure; or maybe it really was simply the absence of legs that made seating down a foreign and thus difficult action. But XL thought he oughta feel a little honored, 'cause he saw at the poker table that this bot never sat down while systematically beating the whole lot of gamblers. And here he was, trying to sit down.
The winner finally managed it. Then he rose a little off the stool to pull out the cloak and just let it hang off, instead of having it pinned against his body.
"Whadda you like?"
"I'll just have the same as you, please." Manners here, what a hoot.
"'Kay. Hey, Bartender! Couple pints of Valkyrian Oil here, huh?" A tentacle at the other edge of the bar wave busied acknowledgement at XL, then he turned back to the shorter bot. "So, what do I call you?"
"Nos-4-A2. And you?"
"XL."
Nos blinked back at him slowly. "Well, familiar face, familiar name."
"Wh--"
"Valkyrian Oil is alcoholic, yes?"
"Yeah, you know, a beer."
"I don't understand the point; intoxicating beverages are for organics."
"Hey, no fair if they get all the good stuff!"
"Exactly how is this...different from standard oil?"
"Tastes better and makes you go kinda loopy." A thought occured. "This your first time Nos-4-A2?"
"Yes." XL could tell he was trying to hide his embarrassment, and doing a relatively good job of it (but claws tapping restlessly against the steel enamel of the bar surface while looking a little too bored, resting his chin against his free fist--all were early clues).
"So, how long you been online?"
Nos seemed to consider, then replied, "About a year."
XL nodded, then broached the topic again. "You said I reminded you of someone; you've gotten in trouble with some rangers before?"
Nos stopped tapping and dropped his mask of boredom entirely; "So you do know XR," then his optics narrowed, "Or more like you're related to him."
The taller bot shrugged; "Kid brother."
Nos actually smiled; "So the Little One wasn't the first prototype..."
"Yeah yeah," XL waved a careless claw, then asked, "You got any annoying siblings?"
"No." But then Nos seemed to reconsider. "Unless I count over a million older ones, and over a million younger ones..."
"Ah; your dad's some big-shot factory owner, huh? Or that your mom?"
"Father," Nos replied curtly, and XL knew perfectly well--from his own experience--not to pick at that; still, he could silently sympathize for a second. Then the oil finally came, and he happily took a gulp from his. As he drank, out of one curious optic he watched Nos; with one clawed finger, the younger bot carefully circled the rim of the goblet, before rolling his optics and picking it up, but then just taking a slow, drawn-out sip. Already there were signs of disgust on his face, but he at least swallowed before he gagged, and the way he blehhed was rather--well, he looked really young then and kiddish.
"So, what kinda trouble did you get in with Star Command?"
The younger bot blew out a sigh, glaring into his drink. XL at least refrained from patting him on the back when he offered, "Hey buddy, everyone messes up with those bozos, 'specially that Lightyear guy..."
He snapped--and XL wondered how physically susceptible Nos was to the oil's effects--"Well, I rather believe your failure pales in comparison with mine; I doubt you were ever in the heart of their Command Center--" but then Nos seemed to remember exactly who he was talking to, grunting a small, "Never mind." He took another sip, and blehhed again.
XL, on the other hand, felt the other coin drop; "Nos-4--Hey, you're that energy vampire!"
"Yes."
"Huh." XL took another gulp, and Nos switched his glaring from the drink to him.
"Well?"
"What?"
"You're honestly not going to amount an assault or attempt an escape? Aren't you going to wonder why I haven't drained you by now?"
"Oh. Well," he gestured around the bar room, "there've been a bunch of other bots, an' I was watching you beat those guys at poker, and you just played against them--you haven't tried to eat anyone when you had a bunch of chances to start something."
Nos hissed as he glared back at the drink, and XL could tell he was a little uncomfortable again. "I wanted to see what a bar was actually like," he admitted in a low voice.
"So...how do you like it?" Nos raised a claw and gave a 'meh' gesture. XL nodded, drank again, and so did Nos, who once again gagged cleanly, no spillage. XL frowned thoughtfully; he took another gulp, and Nos sipped once more, gag included. XL drank; Nos drank and gagged. XL did it one more time, and Nos copied him again, before he asked, "You trying to drink me under the table?"
Nos gave him a blank stare.
XL smiled, then said, "We gotta do it officially."
"Official?"
"A drinking contest."
"Oh," and Nos gave a lopsided smirk, XL already detecting the rising heat in his neighbor's steel, "All right."
...
"I'm beat you."
"Programming says 'na-uh;' go another round."
"Cool. Hey, Bartender!" And XL hailed down more Valkyrian oil, and requested once more that they leave the entire tankard. XL wasn't taking advantage, he really wasn't; Nos was just really determined to win, though he was clearly less experienced at keeping a level head while under the influence. Nos, for his part, was relieved he had stopped gagging, though XL would say that would be due to the 'loopy' side-effects taking hold; the vampire had seemed so stiff before, but he showed how flexible he could be--he was much more loose, and constantly fidgeting in his stool. His wings were out and occasionally they gestured wildly, accidentally knocking into passer-bys who got close enough; these guys were either too drunk to notice they were pushed by a bunch of wings, or sober enough that XL had to look over his shoulder and smooth over tempers and just generally convey how absolutely incapacitated his compatriot was.
"X--XR--I mean XL--"
"What?"
"What, whatIhaveanidea--"
"What kinda idea?"
"Universal dominatrix--an idea of the universal domination kind, I'm not even exactly certain what a dominatrix is..."
"Tell you later--you idea?"
"Werewolves," Nos said with utter confidence, then blinked and shook his head, "What? No no, wirewolves, Wirewolf, Reindeer Parsec Ranger Parsec--"
"Wirewolf?"
"Ya huh, I was on this moon, and I was eating and then I found Lil' One and I was gonna torture him a bit and then take him back, but then Ranger Parsec stopped me and then there was Lightyear and I bit him--"
"You bit Buzzo?"
"Na-uh, I bit Parsec, and I don't like blood, tastes awful, worse than veggies, I didn't mean to eat that stuff but I did by accident at Cosmix--Costcos--Cosmopolitan--"
"I thought you said you were on a moon?"
"Parsec blood on moon, veggies on Comicazes, Comicon--"
"You bit Parsec--"
"Yeah, I did! And it was disgusting I wasn't hungry anymore even though I get hungry a lot and that always aches, but, but--"
"But?"
"My bite had apparently infected Parsec, but only a reaction to the moon made him transform into Wirewolf, which is exactly as it sounds, a robotic wolf that likes to feed on other robots like me."
XL blinked at how clear that sounded. But more pressingly, he began, "You're a vampire, why's he a wirewoo--"
"I know, it makes no sense," Nos replied flatly. He continued, "But it will be to my advantage--our advantage."
"Our?"
"Uh huh, I need your help."
"We'll be, like, partners?"
"Yesssss..." Nos raised the cup and tipped it toward his mouth; nothing. He squinted at its emptiness, then moved to pour another. XL cut him off and poured more for him, fully expecting the vampire to make a mess given the chance.
"This Parsec guy still wolf-y?"
"No, XR...well, maybe not just XR, those other rangers probably helped him blow up the moon but--" Then Nos fiddled with some inner compartment in his forearm, its indicative line coming to view at his touch; he slid the panel open, pulled out a green rock on a chain, then slid it closed.
"But I still have a lil' piece of moon, and with this we can make Parsec wolf-y again, and then I'll hypnotize him and then we--"
"Jewelry?"
"What?"
"We're gonna be dominatrixes--I mean, we're gonna take over the universe with jewelry?"
"It's a moon rock and it's on a necklace so that Parsec can wear it easily--"
"Okay okay, what do we do after you hypnotize the guy?"
"Then we will build this new weapon that'll use Wirewolf to turn everyone else into Wirewolves, like...like...like what Dad did with the Unibrain thing."
"Oh yeah, I remember that...everyone was red-glowy-eyed and grouchy and liked blowing stuff up with me--"
"You were there? I mean, you saw that takeover?"
"Oh yeah, it was something else. Emperor Zurg really outdid himself there."
Maybe the drinking was starting to get to him now, cause XL thought Nos looked a little proud over that.
...
"Am I offline?" XL could not blame Nos for thinking that; he certainly looked like he was on his death bed.
"Nah; just hung over." The vampire blinked blearily at him, the red in his optics muted. "Relax; the bar was closing, and I just took you to my place, to just, y'know, rest a little 'till you get back on your feet--er, well--y'know what I mean." All right, XL felt a little guilty over letting the guy drink that much. Nos struggled to get up from the cot, and XL blew down the urge to push him down; it would probably just irritate him more. So he let him struggle and tire himself out, though XL did try to surreptitiously kneel down and help disentangle his wings, fold them back, even though a frowning Nos kept scratching at him. Then they both cooperated and just spread the wings flat on the cot and the floor.
"Where?"
"We're just in some cheap apartment complex, one of the lower sectors." XL reached behind him, pulling at the small package. "Here, this'll help make you feel better; just suck on it." He pulled out one of the Ache-Away chips and plopped it in Nos' mouth, who acted on cue and pierced the thing, quietly slurping. "You're gonna have to take more than one, and it'll be like forty minutes in between each one."
A few seconds later, the younger bot spat it out; "Empty."
XL set his timer. Nos squeezed his optics shut, ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth, the sides, the bottom.
Then he exhaled; "I have to say, being intoxicated really inspires me."
"What?" Nos looked annoyed, then began to rise, and doing a better job than last time; still, he had to lean against the wall.
"You forgot!" Accused the vampire indignantly.
"Forgot what?"
"My--our plan!"
"Oh, that." As it looked like the vampire was gonna snap something else, XL continued, "You said we were gonna use that Parsec guy to turn everyone else into wirewolves."
Nos nodded, then seemed to regret that, as he slid down the wall and now laid half on the cot, half off. XL blinked, then moved to help him up, but then the vampire started slurring again.
"I need you to get pass Sta--SC, grab Parsley, Parsec, and get to my new base, and help make the Zurgeridiotic--my deat--my wirewolf ray." The vampire raised himself back up, addressed XL confidently, though he instead stared pointedly at the small tv console. "It's a good plan." Nos shook his head, finding XL and looking back up at him expectedly.
The bot looked ridiculously--well, how could XL say no?
"Count me in."
...
The third time Nos proposed his plan, XL felt much better about following the younger bot after hearing the sober version of it.
