Red and Purple Don't Mix

[Blacksteel]

Just a fun little RP to pass the time with Red and Zurg!

I would appreciate it if no one other than Zurg--whom I have already selected--would RP, as I just want this to be two-sided. Please feel free to read, though!

Gosh, that sounded awfully mean.

A thick layer of dust permeated the still air. Row upon row of ancient leather-bound books seemed to beckon to him as he passed by, but he continued along his way, chewing thoughtfully on the remains of a cigar. He knew it was around here somewhere... d--n that Abe! Why couldn't he find his own book!? Instead, he'd been forced to rummage around this dingy library on his behalf. Next time, he promised, he wouldn't be blinded by promises of "Tecate beer" and "Cuban cigars."

Trudging along, it was some time before he realized, with a muttered curse under his breath, that he was lost. Great! That was the last thing he needed! Abe would have a ball if he found out he'd gotten himself lost in their own library! Funny though... the bookshelves surrounding him didn't seem familiar.

"Great... just peachy."

He flexed his fingers and was just about ready to scramble up one of the bookshelves to find his whereabouts when a sudden glimmer of light caught his eye.

"Guess I can't land myself into a bigger mess than I'm already in," he grumbled as he decided to further investigate the source of the light.

Weaving his way between the clutter of crackling parchments and worn spellbooks, he reached a small clearing where a stone pedestal had been erected in the cement floor. A glass casing containing a cylinder-shaped purple crystal was perched upon it, and beneath that was a rusty metal plate. Hellboy squinted and read, "Won in a poker match with Chief Xenobiologist, July 7, 1947, Roswell, New Mexico..." He blinked in bewilderment. "Why does that date ring a bell...? Ah, dammit. I don't have time for this!" He straightened and was about to start looking for his book again, when a violet light pulsed strongly behind him.

He froze in his tracks and exhaled resignedly. "Oh, I get it. This is the part where something's gonna happen, right?" He turned around to face the pedestal.

Several tense moments passed in silence... but nothing happened.

Hellboy tapped a large finger against his arm irritatedly. "Either do whatever you were gonna do or just let me find my way outta here, ya hear?" He suddenly realized what a stupid thing it was to ask if a crystal could hear him. And then he realized that even talking to a crystal was even more stupid.

Shaking his head, he stepped up to the pedestal and opened the glass casing, brushing his fingertips upon the smooth texture of the rare stone. "So someone won you in a game of poker, huh? Wonder if it was strip poker..."

He peered down at the stone in his left hand. It fit snugly in his palm, since it was so small. And it was pretty smooth too... only there were some rough edges to it. He frowned. Was that... writing? Little glowing scribbles in the inside? Odd... he couldn't recognize the symbols... though he could've sworn he'd seen something similar before.

"Zacham... Zergeh..." This was worse than a tongue twister! He made a mental note to brush up on his ancient languages later. Father did always tell him he ought to remember things he'd be needing later on... and this was probably one of those times. "Hmm... Zichahm... Zergh... oh, hang on! I think I got it!"

With a triumphant smirk, he said, "X'cham X'rgh."

And in a sudden wave of violet light, he was gone.

[eez]

"Darkmatter! You're slacking as of late. How do you explain yourself?" A cold, demanding voice grumbled.

A blue man in signature red and purple armour simply grunted and placed both his hands, artificial and real, onto his manly hips.

"Well for starters, your laundry STINKS, so I ain't gonna schlep them anymore!" Warp argued back, shaking a robotic finger like he was scolding the Evil Emperor before him. "That's how I'll explain myself, thank you very much. It's your laundry, so YOU schlep it; don't make ME smell it for you."

Zurg's eyes narrowed as he placed his back against his throne. His laundry wasn't THAT bad! Why did everybody say that!?

"Oh is that so? Well! We'll just see about your paycheck, won't w---urgh...." The Evil Emperor stopped halfway through his lecture, and felt....wrong. He felt sick! Like his stomach was being flipped like a pancake, and his vision was now blurred and wobbly. There were four Darkmatters before him! The horror! He could barely tolerate ONE!

"Urgh?" Warp repeated, spying the Evil Emperor clutching his waist. "Hah. I bet it's your time of the month." He joked, smiling widely. Would explain all the temper tantrums and fleeting desires for chocolate.

"Normally, I'd proceed to tan your blue hide into leather capes but as it stands...I don't...." Zurg hiccuped, and rushed an armoured hand to his teeth rapidly to prevent vomiting. "....feel so well....." The Evil Emperor admitted, groaning as he paled a bit. Funny...he hadn't felt this sick since...couldn't be...

"Well that's a new trick. I'm still getting used to your laser beam ey--"

Warp never got to finish his remark as something scalding hot and smothering consumed him, his lungs burning and eyes watering. The metal behind him seemed to melt in a perfect circle as Warp tried his best to scamper away from the affected area.

What was going on!?

Both Planet Z residents watched with startled eyes as a violet aura crackled into the wide chamber, the purple wave of energy easily washing Darkmatter off his feet and causing Zurg to shield his eyes with a raised arm.

It was over as quickly as it came, with both Darkmatter and the Evil Emperor thinking the same thing.

"What the heck is that!?" Warp exclaimed, pointing to what was nothing before, was now a tall, red monster.

[Blacksteel]

As soon as Hellboy's hooves touched solid ground again, his feet gave way as he fell forwards to his knees, clutching at his stomach with one hand and supporting his huge bulk with his stone hand as he emptied the contents of his stomach all over the circular emblem emblazoned upon the metal floor. He felt like all of his insides had been flipped inside out, literally!

"Ughhh..." he groaned. He wiped at his mouth with the back of a shaking hand. "...what the?" A bolt of pain suddenly ripped through his head, and he proceeded to vomit once more.

Once his head had cleared enough and he was positive that his stomach was completely empty (he knew he shouldn't have eaten so many nachos) he finally got up on unsteady feet to take in his surroundings.

He blinked. Several times.

The first thing he registered was the fact that he was surrounded by metal--and not metal in the musical kind of sense. Slate-colored metal plating covered the walls, the floor, even the ceiling. Immense, cylindrical pedestals were situated at irregular intervals along the walls, and he suspected that they were some sort of machinery of foreign make. A light blue shape shifted at the edge of his vision; he had no time to register this, however, for a loud, spelching noise diverted his attention. A tube of green liquid oozed from behind a massive throne with a huge red and yellow Z symbol etched on the base... wait a minute...

Hellboy suddenly stepped back and peered at the floor. The same symbol had been clean moments before he'd gotten sick on it. Oh, boy. That was definitely not going to make someone happy... speaking of which... hadn't there been someone sitting on that throne?

He looked up and saw the most peculiar creature he had ever seen, and that was quite peculiar considering his experience. The creature was lithe, well-built, donning purple robes highlighted with black and red colors and complete with armor. But what was most intriguing about him was his face: large yellow teeth and scarlet red eyes that smoldered with anger. Two small gray horns complimented his look. This creature looked pretty peeved about something... oh wait, was that the same Z symbol on his chest? Aww, nuts...

He suddenly realized he was still clutching the violet crystal in his left hand. "Uhh..." He extended it in peaceful greeting. "Is this yours?" he offered helpfully. "Oh, and do you have any beer? My throat's kinda parched from throwing up... uh, sorry about that."

[Warp Darkmatter]

These are soooooo funny!!! Keep going!