Post by ckret2 on Jun 22, 2008 1:15:03 GMT -5
I kinda wanted to wait on posting this until I had more than two chapters written, but I mentioned it in another thread, someone asked to see it, and I thought "Why not?" So here it is.
Hubris & Nemesis is basically going to explore the theory (and by "theory" I mean "running gag") that Zurg is Buzz's father. However, it's NOT going to be a Star Wars rip-off. The fic's going to be mostly, but not entirely, set 40-ish years before canon, and it'll follow Zurg on his epic mission to start an evil empire, get an evil wife, and create an evil heir. You can guess how well he does. It's also set on Earth—in the FUTURE!! Hey, all the humans in BLoSC had to come from somewhere.
Expect elaborate backstories, a fair deal of attempted humor, lovely black-and-white morality, general pro-evilness, and little to no actual romance. And a lot of Zurg, the dorky tech guy at GTI Weapons Manufacture in Texas whose idea of wooing a lady is dropping to his knee in front of a college friend and offering to make her empress of the galaxy.
So, on with chapter 1.
---
"There's no way you'll escape this time, Zurg," Buzz said (for what was perhaps the hundredth time in the past year), keeping one eye on the evil emperor's face in the videophone screen and one on Zurg's escape pod, visible out of the view screen of Star Cruiser 42. "You've got nowhere to go now but in the slammer."
Zurg said something that was probably very nasty and generally dastardly, but Buzz couldn't hear it over Booster and Mira's cheering.
The only one not cheering was XR, looking at the radar. "Uh, Buzz? I hate to cut your celebration short, but..."
"What is it?" Buzz asked, turning around.
XR pointed out the view screen. "That!"
Buzz turned just in time to see a massive, deep purple battleship sail into view. Zurg piloted his tiny escape pod—the only remnant of the last deep purple battleship Team Lightyear had taken care of—up beneath the new ship, and a tiny entrance opened long enough to accept the pod. "HA!" On the communication screen, Zurg triumphantly pumped a fist in the air. "You lose!"
"But we blew up your battleship!" Buzz said. "When did you get another one?"
Zurg rolled his eyes behind the red glass of his helmet. "I just told you about it, Lightyear. Du-uh."
"Oh." So that's what Zurg had been saying. Buzz cleared his throat. "What are we waiting for?! Get him!"
"Fat chance! Do you have any idea how much the custom paint job on this cost?" Zurg demanded.
"The what?"
Zurg cut the connection without answering, and before Team Lightyear could react, the battleship turned sideways and shot away into space—but not before they could get a good luck at the "custom paint job."
Blazoned across the side of the ship in sharp black letters, edged by yellow and red flames, was the word NEMESIS. And then the ship was gone.
"Nemesis, huh?" XR said, crossing his arms. "Not Zurgifier? Or the Good Ship Z? Maybe Z-Unit? He's really branching out with his names, isn't he?"
"The Nemesis..." Buzz muttered. "I wonder what it means."
"Doesn't 'nemesis' mean 'enemy' or something?" Booster asked.
"No—I mean, yes, but... that's not what I want to know," Buzz said. "Zurg must be trying to say something... but what?"
Mira groaned. "Buzz, c'mon. It's just a ship name! Maybe he named it for somebody. People do that all the time."
Buzz gave Mira an unimpressed look. "Do you know anyone named Nemesis, Mira?"
"Uh, r-right..." Mira shrugged. "Look, Zurg's probably just trying to say he's the nemesis of the Galactic Alliance or something."
"No. There's more to it than that," Buzz said. "That name is important. But why?"
"Oh, please! Mira's right," XR said. "It's probably the name of some old girlfriend."
Booster grinned. "Hey, can you imagine the Evil Emperor Zurg with a girlfriend?"
XR snickered. "Good point. One-sided ninth grade crush, then."
Mira tried not to smile as she looked at Buzz. "Look, it's probably nothing," she said. "But if there's one thing we know for sure, it's definitely not Zurg's girlfriend."
---
Hubris and Nemesis
---
Leda was still grinning, Zurg noted with relief. She had that eyebrows-cocked-in-disbelief look, but she was grinning. Okay, he hadn't made a complete fool of himself yet. Sure, he'd just gone down on one knee—without remembering to buy a ring first—at a bench at the Northeast Route bus stop, out in public, in front of his casual friend of four or five years from whom he'd borrowed notes in that sophomore economics class and then forgotten to return thus accidentally causing her to fail the final... No, he wasn't the biggest fool on Earth just yet. Not until Leda said "no," at least.
But she didn't say "no." She just rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, I'll bite. Why should I marry you, Hubris?"
A very good question. When in doubt, Zurg had always thought, it was best to lie like heck, but he couldn't currently think of any answer more persuasive than the truth. "Because," he said, "I'm going to be the supreme emperor of the galaxy, which means I'll need an heir someday. If I marry you, I'll be guaranteed to have good-looking heirs." Zurg grinned at Leda in what he hoped was a convincingly non-lecherous way. "Besides, all successful emperors need various assistants and advisors, and I figure you'll handle the financial side of my empire better than anyone else I could hire—and if I actually marry you before I hire you, you're less likely to back-stab me."
Leda's smile widened from disbelieving to pleased, although she tried not to show it. "Flattery isn't getting you far, Hubris. You've said why you want to marry me. You haven't said why I should marry you."
"Oh. Uh..." Zurg really should have thought up answers to these kinds of questions. It was kinda hard to get creative, though, when his knee was starting to hurt like this. He wondered how long he was supposed to say in the proposing-for-marriage pose. "Er... When I'm emperor of the galaxy, you'll get to be the empress, right?" Zurg said. "Besides, if that doesn't work out, I've got a pretty cushy job in GTI Weapons Manufacture, if I do say so myself. You'll never have to worry about money." That should be a selling point. Leda had majored in business for a reason. She loved money.
She was starting to look actually impressed. "And here I thought you didn't have a day job."
"Of course I have a day job! Not everyone can become an evil emperor overnight, you know," Zurg said, crossing his arms.
"Evil emperor? You don't plan on ruling the galaxy the good way?"
"No way! That would never work out."
Now he knew he had her interest. Since their world had joined the Galactic Alliance, fewer and fewer people had dared to consider themselves evil, and certainly only a rare bunch would publicly admit it. But Mama had raised Zurg to keep up the family tradition of committing villainies and raising hell, and he always tried to make Mama proud. Especially since she'd been arrested by Star Command and died in a maximum-security prison two years ago... ah, but it never did to dwell on the past.
Zurg happened to know Leda also allied herself with the wicked and wrongdoing. He had found out while borrowing her notes on galactic history—come to think of it, he'd borrowed a lot of her notes, hadn't he? On the back of the page about the peace treaties that led Rhizome to join the Galactic Alliance, Leda had scribbled several videophone numbers which, after further research, Zurg discovered belonged to a couple of corrupt politicians, a handful of CEOs who were involved in black market deals on the side, and one rather infamous mob boss who'd been on the run from Star Command for a dozen years at least. Zurg called a few of the numbers and found that all parties involved were on very friendly terms with Leda.
Zurg quite strongly suspected that Leda hadn't become one of the most promising young businesswomen in New York based solely on her good looks.
His hunch had been right. Leda laughed, got to her feet, and held out a hand. "Get off the ground—that's no place for the future Evil Emperor Zurg Hubris, is it?" she asked, smiling warmly. "I'll consider the offer."
Zurg let her help him to his feet. "Really?! How soon can you decide?" He couldn't believe his luck. He might get a wife on his first try!
"How soon do you need an answer?"
"Uh... today's Tuesday, right? Is Friday good for you?" Zurg asked. "We could get married over the weekend that way. But take your time—if you need more, we could always go next weekend."
"I'll call you by Friday." For a brief moment, her smile became several degrees colder. "And, Hubris—you don't need to tell anyone that you told me about your plans. Earth is part of the Alliance now. It wouldn't be good for business if people found out I was knowingly considering a marriage proposal from a self-professed evil emperor-to-be. Understand?"
"Sure, sure—I've got the same problem, you know, working for Galactic Tech Industries." GTI was one of the major suppliers of weaponry to Star Command, although that didn't mean there weren't still a few employees who believed in the virtues of sin—Zurg himself, and the Darkmatter couple, for starters. "People with beliefs like us, we've got to stick together these days."
Leda nodded grimly. "Makes you miss the bad old days, doesn't it?"
"Oh, don't I know it." Zurg had been seven when Earth joined the Galactic Alliance. That was the end of his childhood, starting with the day Rangers had come door-to-door through his neighborhood confiscating all products illegal in the Galactic Alliance, including his Little Evil Emperor playset. Ever since then, he'd been expected to do crazy things like get a respectable job and contribute to the betterment of society. "But that's what this is all about. Creating a new galaxy, where evil reigns supreme. And you and I, together, reigning that reign of evil!"
"Tempting, very tempting... If we could pull it off..."
We? She'd said we! Oh yeah, Zurg was on a roll today! He could almost check "get a wife" off his Evil To-Do List already!
Leda glanced up. "Oh—there's my ride."
The Northeast Route bus sailed over the café behind the bus stop and set down neatly in the street. The orange hologram letters on its side scrolled through a list of destinations; Zurg saw Wall Street, NYC go by. That was where Leda worked.
She picked up her briefcase (a white souvenir briefcase with green and purple trim, with the Star Command sigil stamped proudly on the side—Zurg figured she used it to hide her true allegiances), turned towards the café, and yelled, "Hey! Merc-eight! Bus!"
Sitting at a table under an umbrella, leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee, Mercury-84 shouted back, "Just a minute!"
"The bus won't wait a minute!" Leda rolled her eyes at Zurg. "Brain Pods, huh? Take away their bodies and they lose all their social skills."
"Oh, I don't know." Zurg shrugged. "If they're geeky enough to want to be Brain Pods, they probably never had any."
Leda laughed. "True." She walked towards the bus, turning to say, "Bye. I'll call you!"
"Okay!" Zurg wondered, briefly, if she even had his number. But considering the kinds of connections she had, she could probably get it.
She got on the bus, but a moment before the door shut, ducked out again. "Hey! Would I have to change my last name?" she asked. "I like Leda Nemesis more than Leda Hubris."
"That's fine. Keep it," Zurg said. He didn't really care, he didn't propose to her for her name.
"Thanks!" The bus door beeped angrily at Leda, so she got back in the bus and the door slid shut. It took off just as Mercury-84 ran up, yelling for it to wait.
Zurg sighed and shook his head. "Stupid Brain Pod." He headed down the street towards his own bus stop—he'd missed his usual ride in order to propose to Leda, so he'd be waiting another half hour. GTI was down in Texas, where the traffic was so bad no one would notice if he was thirty minutes late anyway.
Time for another fantastic day serving the oh so amazing Star Command and its Space Rangers, champions of good and defenders of justice. Blah.
At least today had an upside. He couldn't wait to tell Domino Darkmatter about Leda.
---
Hubris & Nemesis is basically going to explore the theory (and by "theory" I mean "running gag") that Zurg is Buzz's father. However, it's NOT going to be a Star Wars rip-off. The fic's going to be mostly, but not entirely, set 40-ish years before canon, and it'll follow Zurg on his epic mission to start an evil empire, get an evil wife, and create an evil heir. You can guess how well he does. It's also set on Earth—in the FUTURE!! Hey, all the humans in BLoSC had to come from somewhere.
Expect elaborate backstories, a fair deal of attempted humor, lovely black-and-white morality, general pro-evilness, and little to no actual romance. And a lot of Zurg, the dorky tech guy at GTI Weapons Manufacture in Texas whose idea of wooing a lady is dropping to his knee in front of a college friend and offering to make her empress of the galaxy.
So, on with chapter 1.
---
"There's no way you'll escape this time, Zurg," Buzz said (for what was perhaps the hundredth time in the past year), keeping one eye on the evil emperor's face in the videophone screen and one on Zurg's escape pod, visible out of the view screen of Star Cruiser 42. "You've got nowhere to go now but in the slammer."
Zurg said something that was probably very nasty and generally dastardly, but Buzz couldn't hear it over Booster and Mira's cheering.
The only one not cheering was XR, looking at the radar. "Uh, Buzz? I hate to cut your celebration short, but..."
"What is it?" Buzz asked, turning around.
XR pointed out the view screen. "That!"
Buzz turned just in time to see a massive, deep purple battleship sail into view. Zurg piloted his tiny escape pod—the only remnant of the last deep purple battleship Team Lightyear had taken care of—up beneath the new ship, and a tiny entrance opened long enough to accept the pod. "HA!" On the communication screen, Zurg triumphantly pumped a fist in the air. "You lose!"
"But we blew up your battleship!" Buzz said. "When did you get another one?"
Zurg rolled his eyes behind the red glass of his helmet. "I just told you about it, Lightyear. Du-uh."
"Oh." So that's what Zurg had been saying. Buzz cleared his throat. "What are we waiting for?! Get him!"
"Fat chance! Do you have any idea how much the custom paint job on this cost?" Zurg demanded.
"The what?"
Zurg cut the connection without answering, and before Team Lightyear could react, the battleship turned sideways and shot away into space—but not before they could get a good luck at the "custom paint job."
Blazoned across the side of the ship in sharp black letters, edged by yellow and red flames, was the word NEMESIS. And then the ship was gone.
"Nemesis, huh?" XR said, crossing his arms. "Not Zurgifier? Or the Good Ship Z? Maybe Z-Unit? He's really branching out with his names, isn't he?"
"The Nemesis..." Buzz muttered. "I wonder what it means."
"Doesn't 'nemesis' mean 'enemy' or something?" Booster asked.
"No—I mean, yes, but... that's not what I want to know," Buzz said. "Zurg must be trying to say something... but what?"
Mira groaned. "Buzz, c'mon. It's just a ship name! Maybe he named it for somebody. People do that all the time."
Buzz gave Mira an unimpressed look. "Do you know anyone named Nemesis, Mira?"
"Uh, r-right..." Mira shrugged. "Look, Zurg's probably just trying to say he's the nemesis of the Galactic Alliance or something."
"No. There's more to it than that," Buzz said. "That name is important. But why?"
"Oh, please! Mira's right," XR said. "It's probably the name of some old girlfriend."
Booster grinned. "Hey, can you imagine the Evil Emperor Zurg with a girlfriend?"
XR snickered. "Good point. One-sided ninth grade crush, then."
Mira tried not to smile as she looked at Buzz. "Look, it's probably nothing," she said. "But if there's one thing we know for sure, it's definitely not Zurg's girlfriend."
---
Hubris and Nemesis
---
Leda was still grinning, Zurg noted with relief. She had that eyebrows-cocked-in-disbelief look, but she was grinning. Okay, he hadn't made a complete fool of himself yet. Sure, he'd just gone down on one knee—without remembering to buy a ring first—at a bench at the Northeast Route bus stop, out in public, in front of his casual friend of four or five years from whom he'd borrowed notes in that sophomore economics class and then forgotten to return thus accidentally causing her to fail the final... No, he wasn't the biggest fool on Earth just yet. Not until Leda said "no," at least.
But she didn't say "no." She just rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, I'll bite. Why should I marry you, Hubris?"
A very good question. When in doubt, Zurg had always thought, it was best to lie like heck, but he couldn't currently think of any answer more persuasive than the truth. "Because," he said, "I'm going to be the supreme emperor of the galaxy, which means I'll need an heir someday. If I marry you, I'll be guaranteed to have good-looking heirs." Zurg grinned at Leda in what he hoped was a convincingly non-lecherous way. "Besides, all successful emperors need various assistants and advisors, and I figure you'll handle the financial side of my empire better than anyone else I could hire—and if I actually marry you before I hire you, you're less likely to back-stab me."
Leda's smile widened from disbelieving to pleased, although she tried not to show it. "Flattery isn't getting you far, Hubris. You've said why you want to marry me. You haven't said why I should marry you."
"Oh. Uh..." Zurg really should have thought up answers to these kinds of questions. It was kinda hard to get creative, though, when his knee was starting to hurt like this. He wondered how long he was supposed to say in the proposing-for-marriage pose. "Er... When I'm emperor of the galaxy, you'll get to be the empress, right?" Zurg said. "Besides, if that doesn't work out, I've got a pretty cushy job in GTI Weapons Manufacture, if I do say so myself. You'll never have to worry about money." That should be a selling point. Leda had majored in business for a reason. She loved money.
She was starting to look actually impressed. "And here I thought you didn't have a day job."
"Of course I have a day job! Not everyone can become an evil emperor overnight, you know," Zurg said, crossing his arms.
"Evil emperor? You don't plan on ruling the galaxy the good way?"
"No way! That would never work out."
Now he knew he had her interest. Since their world had joined the Galactic Alliance, fewer and fewer people had dared to consider themselves evil, and certainly only a rare bunch would publicly admit it. But Mama had raised Zurg to keep up the family tradition of committing villainies and raising hell, and he always tried to make Mama proud. Especially since she'd been arrested by Star Command and died in a maximum-security prison two years ago... ah, but it never did to dwell on the past.
Zurg happened to know Leda also allied herself with the wicked and wrongdoing. He had found out while borrowing her notes on galactic history—come to think of it, he'd borrowed a lot of her notes, hadn't he? On the back of the page about the peace treaties that led Rhizome to join the Galactic Alliance, Leda had scribbled several videophone numbers which, after further research, Zurg discovered belonged to a couple of corrupt politicians, a handful of CEOs who were involved in black market deals on the side, and one rather infamous mob boss who'd been on the run from Star Command for a dozen years at least. Zurg called a few of the numbers and found that all parties involved were on very friendly terms with Leda.
Zurg quite strongly suspected that Leda hadn't become one of the most promising young businesswomen in New York based solely on her good looks.
His hunch had been right. Leda laughed, got to her feet, and held out a hand. "Get off the ground—that's no place for the future Evil Emperor Zurg Hubris, is it?" she asked, smiling warmly. "I'll consider the offer."
Zurg let her help him to his feet. "Really?! How soon can you decide?" He couldn't believe his luck. He might get a wife on his first try!
"How soon do you need an answer?"
"Uh... today's Tuesday, right? Is Friday good for you?" Zurg asked. "We could get married over the weekend that way. But take your time—if you need more, we could always go next weekend."
"I'll call you by Friday." For a brief moment, her smile became several degrees colder. "And, Hubris—you don't need to tell anyone that you told me about your plans. Earth is part of the Alliance now. It wouldn't be good for business if people found out I was knowingly considering a marriage proposal from a self-professed evil emperor-to-be. Understand?"
"Sure, sure—I've got the same problem, you know, working for Galactic Tech Industries." GTI was one of the major suppliers of weaponry to Star Command, although that didn't mean there weren't still a few employees who believed in the virtues of sin—Zurg himself, and the Darkmatter couple, for starters. "People with beliefs like us, we've got to stick together these days."
Leda nodded grimly. "Makes you miss the bad old days, doesn't it?"
"Oh, don't I know it." Zurg had been seven when Earth joined the Galactic Alliance. That was the end of his childhood, starting with the day Rangers had come door-to-door through his neighborhood confiscating all products illegal in the Galactic Alliance, including his Little Evil Emperor playset. Ever since then, he'd been expected to do crazy things like get a respectable job and contribute to the betterment of society. "But that's what this is all about. Creating a new galaxy, where evil reigns supreme. And you and I, together, reigning that reign of evil!"
"Tempting, very tempting... If we could pull it off..."
We? She'd said we! Oh yeah, Zurg was on a roll today! He could almost check "get a wife" off his Evil To-Do List already!
Leda glanced up. "Oh—there's my ride."
The Northeast Route bus sailed over the café behind the bus stop and set down neatly in the street. The orange hologram letters on its side scrolled through a list of destinations; Zurg saw Wall Street, NYC go by. That was where Leda worked.
She picked up her briefcase (a white souvenir briefcase with green and purple trim, with the Star Command sigil stamped proudly on the side—Zurg figured she used it to hide her true allegiances), turned towards the café, and yelled, "Hey! Merc-eight! Bus!"
Sitting at a table under an umbrella, leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee, Mercury-84 shouted back, "Just a minute!"
"The bus won't wait a minute!" Leda rolled her eyes at Zurg. "Brain Pods, huh? Take away their bodies and they lose all their social skills."
"Oh, I don't know." Zurg shrugged. "If they're geeky enough to want to be Brain Pods, they probably never had any."
Leda laughed. "True." She walked towards the bus, turning to say, "Bye. I'll call you!"
"Okay!" Zurg wondered, briefly, if she even had his number. But considering the kinds of connections she had, she could probably get it.
She got on the bus, but a moment before the door shut, ducked out again. "Hey! Would I have to change my last name?" she asked. "I like Leda Nemesis more than Leda Hubris."
"That's fine. Keep it," Zurg said. He didn't really care, he didn't propose to her for her name.
"Thanks!" The bus door beeped angrily at Leda, so she got back in the bus and the door slid shut. It took off just as Mercury-84 ran up, yelling for it to wait.
Zurg sighed and shook his head. "Stupid Brain Pod." He headed down the street towards his own bus stop—he'd missed his usual ride in order to propose to Leda, so he'd be waiting another half hour. GTI was down in Texas, where the traffic was so bad no one would notice if he was thirty minutes late anyway.
Time for another fantastic day serving the oh so amazing Star Command and its Space Rangers, champions of good and defenders of justice. Blah.
At least today had an upside. He couldn't wait to tell Domino Darkmatter about Leda.
---
BG FTW!!
XDDDDDD No comment, folks
Probably the most fun I'm having on this so far is in the world building. And since at least 80% of the fic is gonna be flashback, I certainly hope that's the best part, heh. Really, the intro was far from brilliant--I was mainly trying to imitate show-style dialogue.
