Post by Tonetone1224 on Mar 28, 2009 0:10:52 GMT -5
Hey my first fic, go here for description of my new character, Jana: xrfanclub.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ocs&action=display&thread=825
(IMPORTANT- Zurg now lives on a different planet, but he still calls it Planet Z)
Chapter 1 "The Intruder"
PLANET Z 10 AM
Main hall of Zurgs palace
Warning! Warning! Intruder alert! Intruder alert!, called a female voice, Intru…der.. aler…
The warning was quickly silenced as a black figure short circuited the power making the woman sounding the alarm to slowly silence.
ZURGS THROWN ROOM 10:05 AM
“Warp” called an angry voice sitting on a thrown in the middle of the dark, purple room. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Well, there is an intruder.” Well duh there was an intruder, why else would the alarm be going off, thought an annoyed Warp.
“Well then why aren’t YOU going after this intruder?”
“I have already sent the hornets after them your evilness. They should be here any moment now with the intruder.”
“Oh I wouldn’t get my hopes up.” Said a voice in the door way.
"Ah I see you made your way past the the guards. Very impressive, but lets get down to business,who are you and why are you here?!”
yelled a very impatient emperor in a voice that would have startled the grubs.
The figure did not even flinch.
“The names Jana,” said the figure as it made their way into the light. Zurg saw what seemed to be a young girl. She had a long, black cloak covering her whole body. When she took it off you could see that she had a robotic body with only a few parts of skin that were not covered by the silver and purplish, red robotic parts.
Bowing, the girls spoke, “I have come looking for a job."
Kinda short. What do you think? This is my first story and I hope you like it. I am open to any suggestions on how to make it better.
(IMPORTANT- Zurg now lives on a different planet, but he still calls it Planet Z)
Chapter 1 "The Intruder"
PLANET Z 10 AM
Main hall of Zurgs palace
Warning! Warning! Intruder alert! Intruder alert!, called a female voice, Intru…der.. aler…
The warning was quickly silenced as a black figure short circuited the power making the woman sounding the alarm to slowly silence.
ZURGS THROWN ROOM 10:05 AM
“Warp” called an angry voice sitting on a thrown in the middle of the dark, purple room. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Well, there is an intruder.” Well duh there was an intruder, why else would the alarm be going off, thought an annoyed Warp.
“Well then why aren’t YOU going after this intruder?”
“I have already sent the hornets after them your evilness. They should be here any moment now with the intruder.”
“Oh I wouldn’t get my hopes up.” Said a voice in the door way.
"Ah I see you made your way past the the guards. Very impressive, but lets get down to business,who are you and why are you here?!”
yelled a very impatient emperor in a voice that would have startled the grubs.
The figure did not even flinch.
“The names Jana,” said the figure as it made their way into the light. Zurg saw what seemed to be a young girl. She had a long, black cloak covering her whole body. When she took it off you could see that she had a robotic body with only a few parts of skin that were not covered by the silver and purplish, red robotic parts.
Bowing, the girls spoke, “I have come looking for a job."
Kinda short. What do you think? This is my first story and I hope you like it. I am open to any suggestions on how to make it better.