Post by Spirit-of-Twilight on May 3, 2009 20:20:36 GMT -5
BUZZ LIGHTYEAR OF STAR COMMAND: THE ADVENTURE BEGINS
(adapted by Spirit-of-Twilight because she has no life)
((If you don't know what this is... um, you'll probably figure it out. It’s not meant to be offensive in any way, it's supposed to be funny. btw, I'm not liable if it's not funny. *Warning: implied swear words* See if you can catch all of the refereances to other things.))
Buzz: We must find those missing LGMs!
Warp: Are you sure they aren’t just on a coffee break?
Buzz: No, Zurg has kidnapped them, the fiend!
Warp: …whatever.
Buzz: Let’s go!
Warp: Sure thing, “partner.”
Buzz: Hey, look! Crater vipers!
Warp: Oh, &$!!#.
Crater Vipers: RAWR!!!1!
Buzz: I am BUZZ LIGHTYEAR, and my awesomeness will defeat you!
Crater Vipers: Ahhh! *fleedieexplode*
Buzz: Look, we found Zurg’s secret base!
Warp: And here’s a door.
Buzz: Let’s go in, even though we’ll no doubt have to face hundreds of Hornets when we get inside!
Warp: You first.
*sneak inside*
Warp: By the way… what is it that lets the LGMs think as one?
Buzz: That’s classified… but I can tell you, my trusted partner. It’s called the Unimind, it’s on their home world. Here, let me give you a map to get there, in case you ever want to visit.
Warp: *evilgrin*
Zurg: Tell me you’re secret muffin recipe!
Brain Pod: Don’t you mean the secret of how they are able to think as one, my Evil Emperor?
Zurg: Oh, well, I guess we want that too… tell us your secret muffin recipe and how you are able to think as one!
LGMs: Never!
Zurg: Then I will tickle it out of you! Hahahaha!
LGMs: Noooo!
Buzz: Not today, Zurg!
Zurg: Buzz Lightyear? Hmm, you’re early.
Buzz: Oh really? Cause my watch says 7:30 and I thought-
Zurg: Hornets, blast Lightyear!
*fight fight fight*
*save the LGMs*
*self destruct on base*
Warp: Oh no. I am trapped.
Buzz: Warp! Old buddy, old pal, I won’t leave without you!
Warp: Actually, yes you will. *hits Buzz’s jetpack*
*base explodes*
Buzz: Waaaaarrrppp!
Buzz: Warp was my bestest best friend in the whole world, and now he’s gone! Who will I watch football and sing 90s pop music with? *emo*
Nebula: Buzz, I found you a new partner.
Buzz: *sniff* For football?
Nebula: No, jarhead, for being a Space Ranger!
Buzz: Oh… no. I don’t want one.
Mira: Ranger Nova, here sir.
Buzz: *emo*
Nebula: Buzz, this is Princess Mira Nova, she’s from Tangea and she’ll be a great new partner.
Mira: OMG, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!! *hyperventilating* OMG OMG! YOU LIKE SAVED MY PLANET!
Buzz: That, I did. *smug grin* But I don’t want a new partner! *hissyfit*
Mira: Wait, why not? DON’T YOU LIKE ME?
Buzz: Well sure, Princess, but I don’t want you to get hurt.
Mira: It’s Mira.
Buzz: Of course it is.
Nebula: You have to have a partner!
Buzz: No! I don’t want one! *leaves*
Booster: Ooh, look at the star Cruisers! They look so pretty! I want a pet Star Cruiser!
Ranger: Hey! You aren’t supposed to be in here!
Booster: But I’m… cleaning?
Ranger: You’re in big trouble, janitor.
Buzz: No, he’s not. *shiny entrance* Booster, good work keeping the launch bay clean.
Booster: OMG, BUZZ!!! YOU’RE MY HERO, BUZZ, AND YOU JUST SAVED ME FROM GETTING FIRED!
Buzz: That I did. But, please, no fanboying, it’s rather disturbing.
Booster: Oh! Of course, Buzz! *salutes*
LGMs: Buzz Lightyear to Science Bay.
Buzz: Gotta go.
Booster: Bye, Buzz! *waves*
LGMs: We have a partner for you!’
Buzz: I don’t want a partner.
LGM 1: But we made him from chewing gum, rubberbands and terrillium scrap!
LGM 2: And duct tape.
Buzz: Really?
LGMs: Meet XR, the future of Space Justice!
XR: XR reporting for duty.
Buzz: Loll, he’s short.
LGMs: Watch, he can blow up!
*blow XR up*
Buzz: yeah… nice trick.
LGMs: Wait, we’re not done yet! Then we put him back together.
*repair XR*
Buzz: Oh, so he’s like a robot or something? Wait, I though Commander Nebula didn’t like robots?
LGMs: He doesn’t know we made one.
Nebula: Now I do! And you got some ‘splaining to do!
LGms: Uh…
Nebula: I didn’t sign for this!
LGMs: Yes you did, see?
*show him work order*
Nebula: …$!@#.
Buzz: I don’t want a partner!
LGMs: But- *staring off into space* oh, no, Zurg attacks our home world!
Buzz: Then I’m on my way!
XR: I’m on my way.
Buzz: No, I’m on my way.
XR: No, I’m on my way.
Buzz: Copycat!
XR: Copycat.
Buzz: I know you are but what am I?
XR: I know you are but what am I.
Buzz: Oh, he’s good.
LGMs: Ahhhh! Shout! Panic! Flee! Narrate our own actions!
Buzz: Never fear, Buzz Lightyear is here!
LGMs: Yay!
Agents Z: Hey, Lightyear, can’t catch me! Na-na-nana-nah!
*fight fight*
*XR blows up*
*Buzz’s laser is destroyed*
Agent Z: Haha, I’m better than you because I’m all cool and mysterious. I’ll steal the Unimind now.
Buzz: &#!$%!!
LGM 1: We can’t think, our mind is gone!
Buzz: So, uh, how soon do you think you can fix XR?
LGM 2: Well, we can give it a go, right?
LGM 3: Yeah! …What is this? *holds up arm*
Buzz: Uh, that's a arm.
LGM 3: Oh. You sure?
Buzz: This is bad.
Nebula: Stupid Zurg, now the LGMs can’t run the coffee machine!
Buzz: I think he’s up to worse than that, sir, this is Zurg’s most nefarious scheme ever!
Zurg: This is my most nefarious scheme ever!
Brain Pod: Oh, good job utilizing you vocab words for this week, your Evilness!
Zurg: Thank you. Now, how far are we?
Brain Pod: Uh… well, we have the Unimind!
Zurg: No duh! You think I didn’t notice the giant glowing ball? Now, let’s make it evil! *touches unimind and turns it evil*
Booster: *outside briefing room* I wish I could be a Space Ranger.
Buzz: *inside briefing room* We must get the Unimind back! We’ll launch a full scale attack on Planet Z!
XR: *comes in* Full scale? Are you out of your @&%# mind, Buzz?
Buzz: … say wha?
XR: I have a better plan. How’s about we timeshare the galaxy?
Nebula: STUPID ROBOT!!
LGMs: *drag XR out of the room*
XR: What did I say?
Booster: Hey, cool robot!
XR: That I am.
LGMs: You want him?
Booster: Oh! Yes please!
LGMs: *give XR to Booster*
Mira: I could fly that shiny new ship the Alpha-1 to Planet Z unnoticed and sneak the unimind right out from under Zurg’s nose.
Buzz: I have a better idea; I could fly that shiny new ship the Alpha-1 to Planet Z unnoticed and sneak the unimind right out from under Zurg’s nose.
Mira: That’s my idea!
Buzz: No, you said you could do it, that’s a dumb idea.
Mira: But I thought of it!
Buzz: But I’m more experienced!
Mira: But I’m prettier!
Buzz: But I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!
Nebula: Stop it! You’re giving me a migraine! We do what I say, and I say we launch a full scale attack!
Zurg: I use the unimind to put everyone in the galaxy under my control! Hahaha! Let’s shoot something!
Buzz: Mira, you were trying to steal the Alpha-1!
Mira: So? Isn’t that why you’re here too?
Buzz: What? No, of course not! I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR, I would never do that!
Mira: Then why do you have the keys?
Buzz: Uh…
Mira: Hey, look, its Vicky Vortex!
Buzz: Where?
Mira: *Tangean brain squeeze* Goodnight.
Buzz: *asleep*
XR: I’m bored.
Booster: But, look, we’re polishing the floor, isn’t that fun?
XR: Do you even know the definition of the word fun?
Booster: What do think is fun?
XR: Girls and gambling.
Booster: But that’d get us in trouble! Buzz would be ashamed.
XR: Hey, I used to be Buzz’s partner, ya know.
Booster: OMG, NO WAI!!!!
XR: You know that fanboy thing is getting a little creepy. Oh, I know, let’s go tour Buzz’s Star Cruiser! It’s not like anyone’s going to be using it for a crazy full scale attack thing now that I made the great suggestion of a timeshare.
Booster: Yay!
Nebula: What was that?
LGM 1: Someone launched the Alpha-1!
Nebula: WHERE ARE BUZZ AND MIRA?!
Buzz: Here, sir, and Mira is in that ship.
Nebula: You better go get her, she’s your partner.
Buzz: She’s not my girlfriend!
Nebula and LGMS: *blink*
Buzz: I mean partner. She’s not my… partner… I’ll just go get her now.
Booster: *in the captain’s chair of Buzz’s ship* Whee! Look at me! I’m Buzz Lightyear! To infinity and beyond! Right XR?
XR: Remind me--why did I suggest we do this?
Buzz: *singing* Oops, I did it again…
XR: Oh no, someone’s coming! And they’re singing 90s pop-music!
Booster: We’re going to get in trouble!
XR: Unless the music kills us first!
Booster: We gotta hide!
*they sneak off of the bridge*
Buzz: *sits in chair* Wow, I feel smaller. Am I shrinking? Or… is my space ship growing…? Oh well, time to stop Mira!
XR: See, I told you we’d be fine, he didn’t even see us. Now let’s get off this thing before-
*launches*
XR: %*#!&.
Buzz: Mira, pull that ship over!
Mira: But it’s a good idea!
Buzz: But you’re stealing my limelight! This movie is called BUZZ LIGHTYEAR of Star Command, not MIRA NOVA of Star Command! I’m supposed to save the day!
*flies up and blocks her ship*
Mira: Wha-?
Buzz: And that’s why it’s my movie.
Mira: !*$(@*.
XR: I found a space suit!
Booster: But it’s not my size.
XR: …we’ll see about that!
Buzz: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
Mira: You’re cute when you’re angry.
Buzz: Heh, yeah.
*hear sound and go find out what it is*
Booster: It’s still not my size!
XR: Well, it stretched better than I thought it would.
*Buzz and Mira find them*
*Booster’s suit rips leaving him in his undies*
Mira: My EYES!
Buzz: EXPLAIN!
XR: It wasn’t my idea!
Booster: I’m a bad janitor! *cries*
Ship’s Voice: Warning, you are about to be blasted by evil.
Buzz: #&*&$!
*Buzz runs and knocks the ship out of the way, and the blast hits Star Command*
Buzz: Oops.
*they go to Star Command and its all dark*
Buzz: Helloooooo? …XR, report!
XR: I’m scared. Mira, hold me!
Mira: No, you creep.
Nebula: *being controlled by Zurg* Boo!
XR and Booster: AHHH!
Buzz: Zurg?
Nebula: No, you dolt! I’m much handsomer than this old relic.
*all the other rangers are also controlled by Zurg*
Buzz: …I don’t get it.
LGM: I used the Unimind to take control of everyone’s mind with my evil!
Buzz; But… why would you do that?
LGM: Because I am Zurg!
Buzz: But you don’t look like Zurg.
LGM: I just- I AM Zurg, okay?
Buzz: If you say so.
XR: Mind control can’t affect me, hahaha.
Mira: You realize you’re going to eat those words in about six episodes.
XR: …Yeah, I know….
Buzz: Time to make a dramatic exit; let’s move!
*Buzz, Mira, Booster, and XR run*
*launch in Buzz’s ship*
Booster: They’re following us!
Nebula: Bye-bye! *leaves*
Booster: And now they’re leaving!
XR: It’s because of my awesomeness.
Booster: What’s that ticking sound?
Mira: I’ll go see! *ghosts through roof* It’s a pipe-bomb!
Booster: Yay!
XR: Oh, *#$%$.
*Buzz and others survived the blast in the Alpha-1*
Buzz: Now we must stop Zurg!
Mira: How do we do that?
Buzz: I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR--I can do anything.
Mira: No, actually, that’s the other show my voice is on.
XR: You guys are invading my personal bubble.
Buzz: TOUGH!
*they fly to Planet Z*
Booster: I sat on a button!
Mira: %!&*#.
*they bounce-crash on Planet Z*
Brain Pod: Stupid Hornet, that’s not a space ship. It’s a weather balloon!
Buzz: That was some crash; too bad no one was filming it for the Galaxy’s Funniest Videos. Is everyone alright?
Mira, Booster and XR: No.
Buzz: Well, that doesn’t matter, because I’m alright! So let’s move!
XR: The ship’s fine, but it says you suck at driving.
Buzz: You three--leave now.
Booster: But we just got here!
Mira: We’re your backup.
XR: Can I have a nose-ring?
Buzz: No! You’re leaving!
Mira: But-
Buzz: NOW!
*they leave*
Buzz: *sneak sneak*
Zurg: *blasting every planet with his evil ray* Yay for evil!
*Buzz and Agent Z fight*
Agent Z: Haha, you wouldn’t hurt me, for I am actually… Warp Darkmatter!
Buzz: HUH? *is KO’d*
*Buzz wakes up and sees Warp*
Buzz: I’m dead? But I never got to go to Disneyland! *emo*
Warp: You’re not dead, stupid. My death was faked!
Buzz: Why?
Warp: Because I’m evil, and I’ve been working for Zurg since the academy.
Buzz: What?! ...EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!
Warp: And you told me about the Unimind, so this whole mess is really all your fault. How does that make you feel?
Buzz: I am so deleting you from my MySpace friends!
Zurg: Hahaha, I win! And I now I’ll use my evil ray to control you, Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz: That is so not cool.
Zurg: Yes it is; it’s evil, and evil is cool! Any last words?
Buzz: *into mission log* Buzz Lightyear mission log.
Zurg: Lol, wut?
Warp: He’s stupid, let’s point and laugh.
Buzz: *into log* Looks like I’m doomed. Gee, I sure regret that I didn’t take on, like, oh, maybe three new partners. I was stupid to not accept their help, because going it alone didn’t work out so well for me. Did you hear that? I sure wish I had backup now!
Warp and Zurg: 0.o
Mira: Stupid Buzz, I’m never talking to him again.
XR: Hey, that means you’ll have lots of time to talk to me!
*pick up Buzz’s log signal*
XR: Ya know, this might sound way out there, but I think Buzz might need help or something.
Mira: Well, since he admitted it, I guess we can go save him.
Booster: OMG, we’re going to help BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! This is the happiest day of my life!
*fly back to Planet Z*
Zurg: And now we blast Lightyear and I win!
*Mira, Booster and XR swoop in and save Buzz*
XR: Lol, I’m metal.
*Hornets shock him to make him let go of Buzz*
XR: Ouch. *falls* Help!
Booster: I’ll save you!
Buzz: I will now destroy this incredibly huge evil ray with my tiny wrist laser! Because I am… BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!
Zurg: And I will now destroy this tiny Buzz Lightyear with my INCREDIBLY HUGE GUN! *blasts Buzz*
*Booster and XR crash *
*Booster lands on Warp*
Booster: OMG, you were dead 0.0
Warp: I just got defeated by a janitor, I might as well be.
Zug: *blows up glass behind Buzz*
Buzz: *dramatically blasts a little piece of glass right out the air* I am so good.
Zurg: I’ll kill you!
Buzz: Lol, no, because evil never wins.
*Mira, Booster, and XR surround Zurg*
Buzz: See?
Zurg: But you’re forgetting, I have a magic hole in the floor that I can disappear through! Weehoo!*disappears*
XR: Wow, didn’t see that one coming.
Zurg: And did I mention that I have enslaved everyone in the universe with my mind control and you loose? Hahahaha! *escapes*
Buzz: I know it looks bad, but remember, I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! So, Booster and XR why don’t you go do something so you won’t be in the way...oh, maybe take Warp into custody or something? And Mira, you come with me.
Warp: Hey, I’m, like, cuffed to the wall here and the building is about to blow up, anyone want to lend me hand or something?!
Booster: We’re going to arrest you!
Warp: …Any other takers?
*Booster picks up Warp and XR*
Warp: Dude, are you going to jump off the roof? Do have any idea how tall this palace is?
XR: Like I care; I can be rebuilt! Besides, we’re janitors.
Booster: Yep, we are!
Warp: Ew, and you’re touching me.
*Booster jumps off roof*
Warp: Ahhhhhh! I’m too young and handsome and cool to die!
*XR has parachute*
Booster: Lol, you were scared.
Mira: Look at the sparkly-purple sphere.
Buzz: I wanna touch it! *pokes*
Booster: *watching* He touched the butt!
XR: …WTF?
Buzz: Ouch, sparkly sphere hurt Buzz!
Mira: I know! I’ll put you inside the sparkly sphere and you can make it good again!
Buzz: Are you sure that’ll work?
Mira: No, but I’m still mad at you so it doesn’t matter!
*ghosts him into the Unimind*
*Unimind turns good again and everyone is free of Zurg’s control*
Zurg: #!%*&$!!! Curse you, Buzz Lightyear!!!!!
Mira: I’d better get Buzz out now. *ghost into Unimind*
Warp: I hope they both die.
Booster: Jerk!
*Mira comes back out with Buzz*
Buzz: We are so awesome.
LGMs: Mindlink back, all is good now.
Buzz: That’s good, because I really didn’t want to go back in there.
Mira: Did you see us? We totally captured Agent Z!
Booster: And Buzz’s old partner wasn’t dead!
Mira: Of course not, this is a kid’s show; you can’t kill anyone on a kid’s show.
LGMs: *looking at XR* Amazing!
XR: I am, it’s true.
LGMs: …Robot has character flaws.
XR: What?! Say that to my face, you little…
Nebula: Buzz, you have to choose a partner.
Buzz: I will. And I know just who it’s going to be…
Buzz: And the award for Best Partner goes to… well, it’s obviously Mira, but the other two were sort of helpful too, so, what the hay, I’ll take all three! I can have three partners because I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!
Booster: I get to be a ranger now! Yay! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! *gloms on to Buzz*
Buzz: Uh, you’re fanboying again.
Booster: Oh! Sorry.
Mira: …Awkward.
Buzz: Right, okay then… To infinity…
Mira, Booster, and XR: …and *mumbles*
XR: Somewhere.
Mira: A galaxy far far away…?
Buzz: …This going to be a long 62 episodes.
Booster: Yay!
END
(adapted by Spirit-of-Twilight because she has no life)
((If you don't know what this is... um, you'll probably figure it out. It’s not meant to be offensive in any way, it's supposed to be funny. btw, I'm not liable if it's not funny. *Warning: implied swear words* See if you can catch all of the refereances to other things.))
Buzz: We must find those missing LGMs!
Warp: Are you sure they aren’t just on a coffee break?
Buzz: No, Zurg has kidnapped them, the fiend!
Warp: …whatever.
Buzz: Let’s go!
Warp: Sure thing, “partner.”
Buzz: Hey, look! Crater vipers!
Warp: Oh, &$!!#.
Crater Vipers: RAWR!!!1!
Buzz: I am BUZZ LIGHTYEAR, and my awesomeness will defeat you!
Crater Vipers: Ahhh! *fleedieexplode*
Buzz: Look, we found Zurg’s secret base!
Warp: And here’s a door.
Buzz: Let’s go in, even though we’ll no doubt have to face hundreds of Hornets when we get inside!
Warp: You first.
*sneak inside*
Warp: By the way… what is it that lets the LGMs think as one?
Buzz: That’s classified… but I can tell you, my trusted partner. It’s called the Unimind, it’s on their home world. Here, let me give you a map to get there, in case you ever want to visit.
Warp: *evilgrin*
Zurg: Tell me you’re secret muffin recipe!
Brain Pod: Don’t you mean the secret of how they are able to think as one, my Evil Emperor?
Zurg: Oh, well, I guess we want that too… tell us your secret muffin recipe and how you are able to think as one!
LGMs: Never!
Zurg: Then I will tickle it out of you! Hahahaha!
LGMs: Noooo!
Buzz: Not today, Zurg!
Zurg: Buzz Lightyear? Hmm, you’re early.
Buzz: Oh really? Cause my watch says 7:30 and I thought-
Zurg: Hornets, blast Lightyear!
*fight fight fight*
*save the LGMs*
*self destruct on base*
Warp: Oh no. I am trapped.
Buzz: Warp! Old buddy, old pal, I won’t leave without you!
Warp: Actually, yes you will. *hits Buzz’s jetpack*
*base explodes*
Buzz: Waaaaarrrppp!
Buzz: Warp was my bestest best friend in the whole world, and now he’s gone! Who will I watch football and sing 90s pop music with? *emo*
Nebula: Buzz, I found you a new partner.
Buzz: *sniff* For football?
Nebula: No, jarhead, for being a Space Ranger!
Buzz: Oh… no. I don’t want one.
Mira: Ranger Nova, here sir.
Buzz: *emo*
Nebula: Buzz, this is Princess Mira Nova, she’s from Tangea and she’ll be a great new partner.
Mira: OMG, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!! *hyperventilating* OMG OMG! YOU LIKE SAVED MY PLANET!
Buzz: That, I did. *smug grin* But I don’t want a new partner! *hissyfit*
Mira: Wait, why not? DON’T YOU LIKE ME?
Buzz: Well sure, Princess, but I don’t want you to get hurt.
Mira: It’s Mira.
Buzz: Of course it is.
Nebula: You have to have a partner!
Buzz: No! I don’t want one! *leaves*
Booster: Ooh, look at the star Cruisers! They look so pretty! I want a pet Star Cruiser!
Ranger: Hey! You aren’t supposed to be in here!
Booster: But I’m… cleaning?
Ranger: You’re in big trouble, janitor.
Buzz: No, he’s not. *shiny entrance* Booster, good work keeping the launch bay clean.
Booster: OMG, BUZZ!!! YOU’RE MY HERO, BUZZ, AND YOU JUST SAVED ME FROM GETTING FIRED!
Buzz: That I did. But, please, no fanboying, it’s rather disturbing.
Booster: Oh! Of course, Buzz! *salutes*
LGMs: Buzz Lightyear to Science Bay.
Buzz: Gotta go.
Booster: Bye, Buzz! *waves*
LGMs: We have a partner for you!’
Buzz: I don’t want a partner.
LGM 1: But we made him from chewing gum, rubberbands and terrillium scrap!
LGM 2: And duct tape.
Buzz: Really?
LGMs: Meet XR, the future of Space Justice!
XR: XR reporting for duty.
Buzz: Loll, he’s short.
LGMs: Watch, he can blow up!
*blow XR up*
Buzz: yeah… nice trick.
LGMs: Wait, we’re not done yet! Then we put him back together.
*repair XR*
Buzz: Oh, so he’s like a robot or something? Wait, I though Commander Nebula didn’t like robots?
LGMs: He doesn’t know we made one.
Nebula: Now I do! And you got some ‘splaining to do!
LGms: Uh…
Nebula: I didn’t sign for this!
LGMs: Yes you did, see?
*show him work order*
Nebula: …$!@#.
Buzz: I don’t want a partner!
LGMs: But- *staring off into space* oh, no, Zurg attacks our home world!
Buzz: Then I’m on my way!
XR: I’m on my way.
Buzz: No, I’m on my way.
XR: No, I’m on my way.
Buzz: Copycat!
XR: Copycat.
Buzz: I know you are but what am I?
XR: I know you are but what am I.
Buzz: Oh, he’s good.
LGMs: Ahhhh! Shout! Panic! Flee! Narrate our own actions!
Buzz: Never fear, Buzz Lightyear is here!
LGMs: Yay!
Agents Z: Hey, Lightyear, can’t catch me! Na-na-nana-nah!
*fight fight*
*XR blows up*
*Buzz’s laser is destroyed*
Agent Z: Haha, I’m better than you because I’m all cool and mysterious. I’ll steal the Unimind now.
Buzz: &#!$%!!
LGM 1: We can’t think, our mind is gone!
Buzz: So, uh, how soon do you think you can fix XR?
LGM 2: Well, we can give it a go, right?
LGM 3: Yeah! …What is this? *holds up arm*
Buzz: Uh, that's a arm.
LGM 3: Oh. You sure?
Buzz: This is bad.
Nebula: Stupid Zurg, now the LGMs can’t run the coffee machine!
Buzz: I think he’s up to worse than that, sir, this is Zurg’s most nefarious scheme ever!
Zurg: This is my most nefarious scheme ever!
Brain Pod: Oh, good job utilizing you vocab words for this week, your Evilness!
Zurg: Thank you. Now, how far are we?
Brain Pod: Uh… well, we have the Unimind!
Zurg: No duh! You think I didn’t notice the giant glowing ball? Now, let’s make it evil! *touches unimind and turns it evil*
Booster: *outside briefing room* I wish I could be a Space Ranger.
Buzz: *inside briefing room* We must get the Unimind back! We’ll launch a full scale attack on Planet Z!
XR: *comes in* Full scale? Are you out of your @&%# mind, Buzz?
Buzz: … say wha?
XR: I have a better plan. How’s about we timeshare the galaxy?
Nebula: STUPID ROBOT!!
LGMs: *drag XR out of the room*
XR: What did I say?
Booster: Hey, cool robot!
XR: That I am.
LGMs: You want him?
Booster: Oh! Yes please!
LGMs: *give XR to Booster*
Mira: I could fly that shiny new ship the Alpha-1 to Planet Z unnoticed and sneak the unimind right out from under Zurg’s nose.
Buzz: I have a better idea; I could fly that shiny new ship the Alpha-1 to Planet Z unnoticed and sneak the unimind right out from under Zurg’s nose.
Mira: That’s my idea!
Buzz: No, you said you could do it, that’s a dumb idea.
Mira: But I thought of it!
Buzz: But I’m more experienced!
Mira: But I’m prettier!
Buzz: But I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!
Nebula: Stop it! You’re giving me a migraine! We do what I say, and I say we launch a full scale attack!
Zurg: I use the unimind to put everyone in the galaxy under my control! Hahaha! Let’s shoot something!
Buzz: Mira, you were trying to steal the Alpha-1!
Mira: So? Isn’t that why you’re here too?
Buzz: What? No, of course not! I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR, I would never do that!
Mira: Then why do you have the keys?
Buzz: Uh…
Mira: Hey, look, its Vicky Vortex!
Buzz: Where?
Mira: *Tangean brain squeeze* Goodnight.
Buzz: *asleep*
XR: I’m bored.
Booster: But, look, we’re polishing the floor, isn’t that fun?
XR: Do you even know the definition of the word fun?
Booster: What do think is fun?
XR: Girls and gambling.
Booster: But that’d get us in trouble! Buzz would be ashamed.
XR: Hey, I used to be Buzz’s partner, ya know.
Booster: OMG, NO WAI!!!!
XR: You know that fanboy thing is getting a little creepy. Oh, I know, let’s go tour Buzz’s Star Cruiser! It’s not like anyone’s going to be using it for a crazy full scale attack thing now that I made the great suggestion of a timeshare.
Booster: Yay!
Nebula: What was that?
LGM 1: Someone launched the Alpha-1!
Nebula: WHERE ARE BUZZ AND MIRA?!
Buzz: Here, sir, and Mira is in that ship.
Nebula: You better go get her, she’s your partner.
Buzz: She’s not my girlfriend!
Nebula and LGMS: *blink*
Buzz: I mean partner. She’s not my… partner… I’ll just go get her now.
Booster: *in the captain’s chair of Buzz’s ship* Whee! Look at me! I’m Buzz Lightyear! To infinity and beyond! Right XR?
XR: Remind me--why did I suggest we do this?
Buzz: *singing* Oops, I did it again…
XR: Oh no, someone’s coming! And they’re singing 90s pop-music!
Booster: We’re going to get in trouble!
XR: Unless the music kills us first!
Booster: We gotta hide!
*they sneak off of the bridge*
Buzz: *sits in chair* Wow, I feel smaller. Am I shrinking? Or… is my space ship growing…? Oh well, time to stop Mira!
XR: See, I told you we’d be fine, he didn’t even see us. Now let’s get off this thing before-
*launches*
XR: %*#!&.
Buzz: Mira, pull that ship over!
Mira: But it’s a good idea!
Buzz: But you’re stealing my limelight! This movie is called BUZZ LIGHTYEAR of Star Command, not MIRA NOVA of Star Command! I’m supposed to save the day!
*flies up and blocks her ship*
Mira: Wha-?
Buzz: And that’s why it’s my movie.
Mira: !*$(@*.
XR: I found a space suit!
Booster: But it’s not my size.
XR: …we’ll see about that!
Buzz: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
Mira: You’re cute when you’re angry.
Buzz: Heh, yeah.
*hear sound and go find out what it is*
Booster: It’s still not my size!
XR: Well, it stretched better than I thought it would.
*Buzz and Mira find them*
*Booster’s suit rips leaving him in his undies*
Mira: My EYES!
Buzz: EXPLAIN!
XR: It wasn’t my idea!
Booster: I’m a bad janitor! *cries*
Ship’s Voice: Warning, you are about to be blasted by evil.
Buzz: #&*&$!
*Buzz runs and knocks the ship out of the way, and the blast hits Star Command*
Buzz: Oops.
*they go to Star Command and its all dark*
Buzz: Helloooooo? …XR, report!
XR: I’m scared. Mira, hold me!
Mira: No, you creep.
Nebula: *being controlled by Zurg* Boo!
XR and Booster: AHHH!
Buzz: Zurg?
Nebula: No, you dolt! I’m much handsomer than this old relic.
*all the other rangers are also controlled by Zurg*
Buzz: …I don’t get it.
LGM: I used the Unimind to take control of everyone’s mind with my evil!
Buzz; But… why would you do that?
LGM: Because I am Zurg!
Buzz: But you don’t look like Zurg.
LGM: I just- I AM Zurg, okay?
Buzz: If you say so.
XR: Mind control can’t affect me, hahaha.
Mira: You realize you’re going to eat those words in about six episodes.
XR: …Yeah, I know….
Buzz: Time to make a dramatic exit; let’s move!
*Buzz, Mira, Booster, and XR run*
*launch in Buzz’s ship*
Booster: They’re following us!
Nebula: Bye-bye! *leaves*
Booster: And now they’re leaving!
XR: It’s because of my awesomeness.
Booster: What’s that ticking sound?
Mira: I’ll go see! *ghosts through roof* It’s a pipe-bomb!
Booster: Yay!
XR: Oh, *#$%$.
*Buzz and others survived the blast in the Alpha-1*
Buzz: Now we must stop Zurg!
Mira: How do we do that?
Buzz: I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR--I can do anything.
Mira: No, actually, that’s the other show my voice is on.
XR: You guys are invading my personal bubble.
Buzz: TOUGH!
*they fly to Planet Z*
Booster: I sat on a button!
Mira: %!&*#.
*they bounce-crash on Planet Z*
Brain Pod: Stupid Hornet, that’s not a space ship. It’s a weather balloon!
Buzz: That was some crash; too bad no one was filming it for the Galaxy’s Funniest Videos. Is everyone alright?
Mira, Booster and XR: No.
Buzz: Well, that doesn’t matter, because I’m alright! So let’s move!
XR: The ship’s fine, but it says you suck at driving.
Buzz: You three--leave now.
Booster: But we just got here!
Mira: We’re your backup.
XR: Can I have a nose-ring?
Buzz: No! You’re leaving!
Mira: But-
Buzz: NOW!
*they leave*
Buzz: *sneak sneak*
Zurg: *blasting every planet with his evil ray* Yay for evil!
*Buzz and Agent Z fight*
Agent Z: Haha, you wouldn’t hurt me, for I am actually… Warp Darkmatter!
Buzz: HUH? *is KO’d*
*Buzz wakes up and sees Warp*
Buzz: I’m dead? But I never got to go to Disneyland! *emo*
Warp: You’re not dead, stupid. My death was faked!
Buzz: Why?
Warp: Because I’m evil, and I’ve been working for Zurg since the academy.
Buzz: What?! ...EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!
Warp: And you told me about the Unimind, so this whole mess is really all your fault. How does that make you feel?
Buzz: I am so deleting you from my MySpace friends!
Zurg: Hahaha, I win! And I now I’ll use my evil ray to control you, Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz: That is so not cool.
Zurg: Yes it is; it’s evil, and evil is cool! Any last words?
Buzz: *into mission log* Buzz Lightyear mission log.
Zurg: Lol, wut?
Warp: He’s stupid, let’s point and laugh.
Buzz: *into log* Looks like I’m doomed. Gee, I sure regret that I didn’t take on, like, oh, maybe three new partners. I was stupid to not accept their help, because going it alone didn’t work out so well for me. Did you hear that? I sure wish I had backup now!
Warp and Zurg: 0.o
Mira: Stupid Buzz, I’m never talking to him again.
XR: Hey, that means you’ll have lots of time to talk to me!
*pick up Buzz’s log signal*
XR: Ya know, this might sound way out there, but I think Buzz might need help or something.
Mira: Well, since he admitted it, I guess we can go save him.
Booster: OMG, we’re going to help BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! This is the happiest day of my life!
*fly back to Planet Z*
Zurg: And now we blast Lightyear and I win!
*Mira, Booster and XR swoop in and save Buzz*
XR: Lol, I’m metal.
*Hornets shock him to make him let go of Buzz*
XR: Ouch. *falls* Help!
Booster: I’ll save you!
Buzz: I will now destroy this incredibly huge evil ray with my tiny wrist laser! Because I am… BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!
Zurg: And I will now destroy this tiny Buzz Lightyear with my INCREDIBLY HUGE GUN! *blasts Buzz*
*Booster and XR crash *
*Booster lands on Warp*
Booster: OMG, you were dead 0.0
Warp: I just got defeated by a janitor, I might as well be.
Zug: *blows up glass behind Buzz*
Buzz: *dramatically blasts a little piece of glass right out the air* I am so good.
Zurg: I’ll kill you!
Buzz: Lol, no, because evil never wins.
*Mira, Booster, and XR surround Zurg*
Buzz: See?
Zurg: But you’re forgetting, I have a magic hole in the floor that I can disappear through! Weehoo!*disappears*
XR: Wow, didn’t see that one coming.
Zurg: And did I mention that I have enslaved everyone in the universe with my mind control and you loose? Hahahaha! *escapes*
Buzz: I know it looks bad, but remember, I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! So, Booster and XR why don’t you go do something so you won’t be in the way...oh, maybe take Warp into custody or something? And Mira, you come with me.
Warp: Hey, I’m, like, cuffed to the wall here and the building is about to blow up, anyone want to lend me hand or something?!
Booster: We’re going to arrest you!
Warp: …Any other takers?
*Booster picks up Warp and XR*
Warp: Dude, are you going to jump off the roof? Do have any idea how tall this palace is?
XR: Like I care; I can be rebuilt! Besides, we’re janitors.
Booster: Yep, we are!
Warp: Ew, and you’re touching me.
*Booster jumps off roof*
Warp: Ahhhhhh! I’m too young and handsome and cool to die!
*XR has parachute*
Booster: Lol, you were scared.
Mira: Look at the sparkly-purple sphere.
Buzz: I wanna touch it! *pokes*
Booster: *watching* He touched the butt!
XR: …WTF?
Buzz: Ouch, sparkly sphere hurt Buzz!
Mira: I know! I’ll put you inside the sparkly sphere and you can make it good again!
Buzz: Are you sure that’ll work?
Mira: No, but I’m still mad at you so it doesn’t matter!
*ghosts him into the Unimind*
*Unimind turns good again and everyone is free of Zurg’s control*
Zurg: #!%*&$!!! Curse you, Buzz Lightyear!!!!!
Mira: I’d better get Buzz out now. *ghost into Unimind*
Warp: I hope they both die.
Booster: Jerk!
*Mira comes back out with Buzz*
Buzz: We are so awesome.
LGMs: Mindlink back, all is good now.
Buzz: That’s good, because I really didn’t want to go back in there.
Mira: Did you see us? We totally captured Agent Z!
Booster: And Buzz’s old partner wasn’t dead!
Mira: Of course not, this is a kid’s show; you can’t kill anyone on a kid’s show.
LGMs: *looking at XR* Amazing!
XR: I am, it’s true.
LGMs: …Robot has character flaws.
XR: What?! Say that to my face, you little…
Nebula: Buzz, you have to choose a partner.
Buzz: I will. And I know just who it’s going to be…
Buzz: And the award for Best Partner goes to… well, it’s obviously Mira, but the other two were sort of helpful too, so, what the hay, I’ll take all three! I can have three partners because I’m BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!
Booster: I get to be a ranger now! Yay! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! *gloms on to Buzz*
Buzz: Uh, you’re fanboying again.
Booster: Oh! Sorry.
Mira: …Awkward.
Buzz: Right, okay then… To infinity…
Mira, Booster, and XR: …and *mumbles*
XR: Somewhere.
Mira: A galaxy far far away…?
Buzz: …This going to be a long 62 episodes.
Booster: Yay!
END
