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Post by eez on Oct 29, 2009 14:49:13 GMT -5
"Earth....what an interesting place but a shame about your comrades, Mr. Clark and Mr. Waller. I knew of a saying that went 'separate two bonds, and they will only come together twice as strong; severe one, and they will only crumple twice as fast'...." Zurg couldn't say he had heard of the planet, and if what had happened was true, he didn't think he'd ever will regarding how Red got here.
"Hmm, whatever the case you have your mission and your ultimate objective." The Evil Emperor went on. "Here is your PDA."
He shuffled the slim, stream-line device across the table and waited for Red to accept it.
"It will tell you all that you need to know. The bulk of our communication will be through them."
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 29, 2009 14:53:16 GMT -5
"That's a nice saying," he murmured, scratching his cheek reflectively.
"Mmm, but I can't read it," he reminded him, taking the PDA and glancing at it briefly. Sure enough, he couldn't understand a darn thing.
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Post by eez on Oct 29, 2009 14:58:41 GMT -5
Oh blast! That's right! Red couldn't read even the simplest of Galactic Basic!
"Alright, alright, a small setback..." Zurg sighed, holding up his hands in appeasement. What was he saying!? This was a HUGE setback! His agent couldn't even understand the most common language in the galaxy! And if he couldn't understand this, then what made the Evil Emperor think that Red could find the wedding!? More or less fly a ship, even!?
Zurg would just have to see how bad the damage was.
"How are you at, ohhhh, navigation?" He asked, leaning forward with his hands clasped together. ".....Navigation through, eheh.....space...."
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 29, 2009 15:05:15 GMT -5
Hellboy blinked once, then twice. Then he chewed on his upper lip. "Is that a trick question? No, really. Because I thought we'd already established the fact that I'm from a thousand years in the past," he said dryly.
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Post by eez on Oct 29, 2009 15:12:12 GMT -5
"So!?" Zurg retorted back. He hated it when people gave him that 'Are you seriously that DUMB' look and then topped it off with sarcasm! "A thousand years doesn't mean anything here! A thousand years ago, there were several races that DID have space travel! How am I supposed to know if this Earth is or isn't one of them!?"
He grunted with an indignant snort and did his best to keep his temper in check.
"Obviously this Earth wasn't a powerful player in this galaxy..." He grumbled, realizing that Red's homeworld must have been dreadfully weak. Why in the Cosmos did he hire an ape, almost literally speaking!?
"Look," He said, being curt. "If you can't be expected to perform even the most basic of skills here, then I suggest you wise up if you want to work for me or anyone, for that matter. The only place you'd get hired with your current skills is Roswell, and I doubt they'd like you there."
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 29, 2009 15:28:03 GMT -5
"Geeze, hold your horses! I'm not trying to squirm out of anything! I'm just pointing out that there are a few things I still don't know and I'll have to learn them first. But I'm a fast learner," he added hastily. And Roswell? Now why did that sound familiar...?
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Post by eez on Oct 29, 2009 15:37:09 GMT -5
"Horses? Are you serious!?" Oh this wasn't turning out so good as he thought!
Zurg sighed into his hands and felt like weeping but he wouldn't give the waiter any satisfaction of seeing him in great mental anguish.
"Alright, fine. You obviously want this job so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and let you take some lessons. Here." The Evil Emperor reached into the folds of his robes yet again and produced a hard-polymer business card.
"Don't worry, you don't need to understand the language on this one: there's a map." He pointed out, tapping a talon upon a grid of streets and markers. "Take this card and find a man named Smoltz. Tell him...an old friend has one last request that he must fill out as payment."
Zurg seemed to smile at this but he didn't explain why.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 29, 2009 15:47:01 GMT -5
"...It's just an expression," Hellboy said slowly, not understanding what Zurg found so incredulous about horses until he realized that Zurg probably though he was that primitive. Oh, boy.
Hellboy took the offered card and examined it. Sure enough, the map was easy enough to understand; a simple thing, really. "So I just go find this guy and tell him to train me and that's it?"
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Post by eez on Oct 29, 2009 15:52:07 GMT -5
"Yes, that's it." The Evil Emperor affirmed. "You'll know Smoltz when you see him. He's quite the talker. Mmmhmmm~!"
Apparently Zurg found something funny as he got up to make his leave.
"When you're finished learning how to fly, come see me again, but not before. I am a very busy person, after all, with a galaxy to maintain and cull." And with that, the Evil Emperor did a little bow and proceeded to leave Red to his own devices.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 29, 2009 15:57:36 GMT -5
"Hey, wait!" Hellboy called after him, scrambling to get up. "How will I get into contact with you?"
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Post by eez on Oct 29, 2009 16:05:43 GMT -5
Zurg stopped to turn around as Red called out to him; the purple crystal the man had given him before giving off an ominous lilac glow as he lifted it up between them.
"You won't."
Before anything could be said, anything could be objected, there was a thunderous crack and a wave of lavender energy that rippled across the bar; napkins fluttering about wildly and metal utensils and glasses jostling precariously in their places.
The Evil Emperor was gone and in his stead, nothing but fuzzy purple particles that soon popped and faded away just like their owner.
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BG FTW!!
XDDDDDD No comment, folks
