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Post by Skyfire on Apr 8, 2009 15:17:20 GMT -5
AND WHO'S THE OTHER FAN? ?
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saron
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Post by saron on Apr 8, 2009 15:26:06 GMT -5
XDDDDDDD guess. *or read your inbox*
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Post by Skyfire on Apr 8, 2009 15:32:35 GMT -5
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. XDDDDDDDDDD
well, let's double-check with KJ, 'kay? sheesh, if SHE enters, we could make it a double-episode!!
WOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!! LET HER COOOOOOME!!!
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saron
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Post by saron on Apr 8, 2009 20:43:03 GMT -5
Can I continue the fanfic here? Yes? Alight then.
Th evil emperor Zurg walked with soft steps across the muddy ground that served as the surface of Trade World. Only the poorest souls or the bloodiest villains law enforcement never apprehended dared to cross its surface.
As Zurg was walking across the surface, he managed to step into some radioactive gunk that had gone unnoticed before. "Oh this just fluffs my pillows!" Zurg seethed. "Now my glorious boots are all...dirty. It'll take the grubs ten cycles to get all the filth out!"
A figure loomed from the shadows, not wishing to be disturbed by anyone, least of all Zurg. After all, feinds like Warp Darkmatter made their living off the "esteemed" emperor.
"Who goes there," the cold voice demanded.
"Hey, Shiv Katall," Zurg found just the being he was looking for. "Darling, how goes it?"
The real Shiv Katall snarled, aiming a plasma cannon straight for his flat face. "Call me darling one more time," the sound of sizzling charges crackled from the weapon, "and I'll blast that smile out of orbit."
"Oh, my apologies," Zurg casually pushed aside the hot weapon, "I forgot that you're not that Jo-adian fellow. What's his name? Buster?"
"The imposter's name is Booster," Shiv Katall hissed.
"Ah yes," Zurg rubbed what served as his chin, "I always seem to forget that part. Now, what can you do for me?"
Shiv Katall blinked from beind the mask. "What can I do for you? You're the one who hounded after me, for a job no doubt."
"Sorry about that," Zurg swiveled his wrist. "Force of habit, you know?" He cleared his throat before saying, "Now about that job, I'm sure you've heard of a Mr. Darkmatter?"
Shiv growled, "Unfortunately."
Zurg chuckled, "Well then, I assure you that you'll find this mission amusing..."
And now that I've introduced Shiv, Qorg can take over. ^^
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Post by eez on Apr 8, 2009 21:37:38 GMT -5
"Hmph." Shiv retracted his morph-tech arm cannon and simply leaned up against a dark, slimy wall; common to that of Trade World's Poor District. Craters, common to all of Trade World's Districts.
"So. That walking womanizer is still around, huh." The brooding master assassin/hit man for hire grunted. "What makes you want a hit on his head. He's your number one agent." He grumbled, his voice distorted by the sinister blue mask's vocal scrambler. "Unless of course...he fell out of favour with you. In that case, I'm charging double."
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saron
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Post by saron on Apr 8, 2009 21:43:06 GMT -5
"I'm afraid Darkmatter no longer has....immunity." Zurg said menacingly, eying Shiv with a cold, malicious gleam in his red eyes.
Zurg motioned for a grub to come towards Shiv, towing a large violet briefcase full of UBs behind him. "And I'll give you double, plus a bonus, if you take care of a few pests along the way...one of particular interest."
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Post by eez on Apr 8, 2009 21:46:46 GMT -5
This large suitcase brimming with crisp, crackling green bills sparked Shiv's interests mightily; enough to get the cold-blooded killer off the wall and strut over towards the scheming Evil Emperor.
"Well, well." Shiv remarked, crossing his plated arms over his cobalt chest plate. "I take it Darkmatter took one too many vidcalls on the job." His humour dry and of business. "And a bonus. Aren't you feeling mighty generous today. Who's the 'special interest'. I'll whack them however you want it."
Shiv cocked his right arm, instantly forcing a hidden vibro-blade to snap out with a chilling WHISH.
"Fillet will cost you extra, however; it's terribly messy and I just waxed this suit."
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saron
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Post by saron on Apr 8, 2009 21:57:58 GMT -5
"Don't worry," Zurg's grin widened ominously, "I have a special fate in store for her..."
Before Shiv could ask what fiendish plot it was, Zurg burst in, "Put an icecube down her back."
An ice cube. How idiotic, until Zurg elaborated, "An ice-cube made of a highly concentrated solution of Hydrochloric acid, pH of 2. That should get the digestive juices flowing."
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Post by eez on Apr 8, 2009 22:00:53 GMT -5
"Are you....kidding me." Shiv said flatly. "That's STUPID."
The Jack-of-all-trades rapped their metallic fingers against their flexed arms, not sure whether to mug Zurg of his money or just walk away; to leave the purple dolt to himself.
But knowing Zurg, the Evil Emperor would not like to be left to dry like a big ol' purple fuzzy rug.
"Hmph. Can't you come up with something that will make it worth my while." Shiv grumbled, looking away with disinterest. "I've had men wanting to murder their wives for insurance money come up with better stuff."
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saron
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Post by saron on Apr 8, 2009 22:06:47 GMT -5
"Fine!" Zurg snapped, being sure o swish his cape behind him with added vehemence, "But don't expect a tip from me!"
Zurg ignored Shiv Katall's groans as he clapsed his metallic hands together. "I'm feeling in an exotic mood tday--how about you get Erin over to a vat of Siafu ants, nonvenemous little critters that carve their way through the flesh and pile into the lungs, choking the victim to death? Not that bloody, and you let the bugs do all the work. All you'd have to do is get her there."
Zurg twiddeled his thumbs around, "As for Warp Darkmatter's fate, I'll leave that one up to you." He cast a sidelong glance at Shiv eager to see the reaction.
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Post by eez on Apr 8, 2009 22:10:28 GMT -5
"Eh, ants. Do I look like an exotic pet store." Shiv mumbled, still not bought. "If you want insects, get your filthy, little grub buddies. I don't do ants."
Secretly of course, Shiv failed to mention a most traumatic experience involving red inferno ants from Solaris VI and a faulty pressure suit; one with holes in all the wrong places.
"No dice, Big Z." The bounty hunter replied, starting to walk away. "You disappoint me."
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saron
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Post by saron on Apr 8, 2009 22:16:16 GMT -5
"Dice? DICE?" Zurg was enraged. "You want to gamble against my patience? FINE THEN," Zurg snarled, you can use that vibroblade of yours and slit that whiny brat from nose to navel, opening the carcass with dagers, and ripping out the organs one by one, starting with those that are not vital for survival."
His chest was heaving up and down, "How's THAT for a nefarious plot! I was going to spare Frame from too much pain, but now I don't give a rat's tail about the whole thing!"
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Post by eez on Apr 8, 2009 22:23:44 GMT -5
"Whoa there, Starbiscuit." Shiv said, turning around with his hands up in the air for the Evil Emperor to calm down. "That's not good for the heart; all that yelling and temper."
Slit from navel to nose? Daggers? Ripping out organs?
That was so last Dark Ages.
"Who's this Erin kid. You seem mighty pent up about them, more so than Darkmatter. Reminds me of an old lady not receiving her bingo winnings." Shiv joked dryly, bold since he knew that Zurg came to him, and when Zurg came to him it meant that the Evil Emperor had needs of his special....talents.
"I need details, locations, weaknesses; the whole Big Bang."
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saron
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Post by saron on Apr 8, 2009 22:34:38 GMT -5
"Details, locations, weaknesse?" Zurg repeated while haching a most clever idea. "A wedding, at Capital PLanet (as I confiscated Darkmatter's moon, bwahahaha), and she has a fixation for Church-like matters and acting all noble."
Zurg pronounced the last word like it was distasteful to say.
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Post by eez on Apr 8, 2009 22:40:54 GMT -5
"Wedding." Shiv said in surprise, but it was barely noticeable through his raspy voice. "Will there be cake. I liked to do the honours and cut the slices; courtesy of my new bone saw." This seemed promising indeed, and Darkmatter's private moon? Zurg would probably fork over the access codes, seeing how the Evil Emperor owned the blasted thing.
Heh, noble. He killed a noble once. In his bathtub with a turned on toaster.
"Count me in." Shiv extended his foul hand and awaited Zurg's handshake. If that Evil Emperor said cooties like last time, Shiv was going to mail the obnoxious horned man a bunch of inferno ants.
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