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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 15:00:17 GMT -5
Hellboy trudged through the snow, leaving long, deep hoof-tracks in his wake. The sun's rays were just peeking over the horizon, momentarily blinding him. Man, he hated it when he pulled all-nighters, and on an empty stomach no less.
He paused for a moment, squinting and looked around, shading his eyes. Small, squat buildings were littered haphazardly around him, some spaced at irregular intervals, others almost stuck to one other. They looked shabbier than other parts of the city he had seen so far. Rather seedy and decrepit.
He looked down at the little card in his hand. According to the directions, he had to be close. But why the heck would this Smoltz be living here? The way Zurg talked about him was as if he had some beef with the guy. The demon exhaled resignedly. And he was going to be the scapegoat in whatever would follow next.
He continued along a bit more before he finally located the correct dwelling. Some sort of apartment complex, with rather dingy-looking windows and peeling paint. Hellboy climbed up the small stairs that led to the landing and scanned the names scribbled beside the doorbells. "Mr. McGee," he mumbled under his breath once he found it, snorting. But it wasn't in his place to judge someone's name, especially considering how inappropriate his name was.
Shrugging, he rang the doorbell and waited.
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Post by eez on Oct 31, 2009 15:02:28 GMT -5
"I'm not home!" A rather meek and timid voice called behind the door after Red was finished causing the peeling paint to flake everywhere off the shabby piece of metal.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 15:05:58 GMT -5
Hellboy just arched a brow in disbelief. "You know, that might have worked if you hadn't spoken at all," he pointed out dryly.
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Post by eez on Oct 31, 2009 15:08:48 GMT -5
"I said I'm not ho--oh craters...I'm coming..."
There were numerous clatters, like the sound of pots and pans being thrown about, and there were fleeting, light footsteps as the inhabitant of apartment number 373 began to unlock all the bolts and safety features they had installed.
A slender, teal hand creased the door open a smidgen and a wide, round eye peered from the darkness to the man before the door.
"C-C-Can I help you?" The mysterious figure asked, his eye never blinking.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 15:18:26 GMT -5
"Sure you can. Smoltz, right?"
Hellboy decided right then and there that he'd just cut down to the chase. He was tired, hungry, and if this guy wanted to pick a fight with him the demon's no-nonsense attitude might just prevent that.
"I come on behalf of an old friend... says he's got one last request from you and you've got to fulfil it as payment." He brandished the card and gave it a little wave.
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Post by eez on Oct 31, 2009 15:22:23 GMT -5
"Shhh-shhh! Don't say that name out loud!" The man shifted his eyes left and right frantically and brought them quickly back upon Red. "So...So he told you to come, huh....Figures....I make a deal with the Devil and I never cease to get burned....Hang on..."
The door shut with a slam and the sound of multiple locks could be heard unhinging. There were several tense moments of silence but finally the door re-opened widely, allowing Red to come in.
A frail man, no taller than five feet and with a skinny frame made ushering movements to the demon. He had starch white-silver hair, teal skin, and--strangely--two mouths. He looked absolutely disheveled and his attire was a mess; his skin dirty with splotches of black.
"Hurry...I don't want to get spotted..." The man said nervously.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 15:26:05 GMT -5
Hellboy found it somewhat amusing that this character referred to Zurg as the devil when he didn't even look the part as much as Hellboy did. The two mouths threw him off for only a moment, but he let it slide as he walked into the apartment; he had seen stranger things. "Geeze, this place is a mess," he muttered.
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Post by eez on Oct 31, 2009 15:29:13 GMT -5
"Well excuse me...!"
Mr. McGee, or Smoltz, went about locking the door back up tighter than a pressure bay door and pressed his back firmly upon it; his hands sprawled about it defensively.
"Alright...." He squeaked, sweat dripping from his brow. "What did Zurg send you to get? I already told him I don't have anymore information on museums!" Smoltz stammered.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 15:32:30 GMT -5
Hellboy blinked, wondering what on earth Zurg would want with museums, but he decided to dwell on the matter later. "Well, it's like this. I've just become his right hand man but I need to learn a few things about the trick of the trade first. And he sent me to you."
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Post by eez on Oct 31, 2009 15:37:27 GMT -5
"What!?" Both of Smoltz's mouths quipped at once, the man rushing his slender hands to his hair in a panic. "You're his right hand man and he wants me to train you!?"
This had to be a joke! It had to be! Zurg was known for his cruel sense of humour, but this!? What on earth did Smoltz know about training evil minions--especially Zurg's evil minions!?
"H-H-He was kidding right? Ahahaha! Oh that's funny! He's a real hoot!" Smoltz laughed in desperation as he chewed on his finger nails with his lower mouth. "C-C-Cause I don't know a thing about training in the arts of evil! I'm just a lowly fence! A spy!"
And to prove it, Smoltz ran over to a mound of discarded vid-discs and waved them around Red's face.
"Here! These are tapes from the Bathyosian Prime Minister's secret council meeting! King Nova of Tangea's private recordings! Raenok's defense procedures! Oh! I even have Verdentia's royal flower arrangement! Take them all!" He shrieked shrilly, handing all that he had collected for the Evil Emperor and various nobodies into Red's arms. "I don't have anything else to give!"
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 15:53:12 GMT -5
If Hellboy hadn't been taken aback by the shrill man before, he sure was now. "Geeze, would you slow down for a second and take it easy? I've never seen anyone so darn fidgety before!" The demon stared at the small discs in his hands, then decided to pocket them. "I'll be taking these since you so graciously offered them... but I need more practical help than learning the 'arts of evil'."
He paused reflectively. "I'm from a... very different place. And there are a lot of basic things you take for granted that I have absolutely no idea about."
Ah, and now to the good stuff. Now the demon would turn on his charm factor and win Smoltz over.
"Now... if you want to stay in Zurg's good graces, you'll have to train me... unless you want me to wreck this hovel and blow your cover. It's a piece of cake, actually." He patted one of the rickety walls with his stone hand. Wow, it was really flimsy under his touch. "I could take this entire wall down with just my pinky. And that's nothing compared to what I could do to you."
He focused his piercing yellow eyes on him. "Have I made myself clear?"
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Post by eez on Oct 31, 2009 15:57:12 GMT -5
"OH PLEASE HAVE MERCY!"
At once, the threat reduced Smoltz to tears and he fell to the floor, lamenting. He wailed and howled as he made his way towards the man's duster and he even clutched upon the tattered fabric like his very life was hanging on the balance--and it was.
"Don't tell Zurg! PLEASE! Don't give me a bad name before him!" The alien pleaded on his knees. "It was bad enough I failed for him! If you tell him I was reluctant to help you, his number one agent, he would ruin me to the ground!"
Smoltz then did the darnest thing and he began to kiss Red's hooves, bowing all the while.
"I'll train you! Train you in anything, I swear! Anything I know! Honest promise!" The alien offered desperately.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 16:07:07 GMT -5
"Son of a--!" Hellboy kicked Smoltz away with an expression of disgust. "Pull a stunt like that again and I will tell him!" It was bad enough that demons and devils grovelled at his feet, he did not need someone to actually start kissing them!
Maybe the bad boy attitude had been a bit too much... Hellboy was out of practice. Or maybe it was just that he was used to tougher nuts to crack. And this guy... he was a pathetic wreck.
Or it could be that this guy was just absolutely terrified of Zurg... yeah, that must be it. Made Hellboy wonder just what the heck the guy'd been up to.
"First of all, the hooves are off-limits. So's the tail," he added as an afterthought. "Second, if you want me to put in a good word for you, you'll do exactly as I tell you. Starting with not collapsing into a freaking blubbery mess every time I say something! Got that?!"
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Post by eez on Oct 31, 2009 16:13:02 GMT -5
"Tough love, I can handle that..." Smoltz sniffed, standing back up quickly; dusting himself off of any debris he had collected on the floor. Wasn't anyone a kind soul anymore? Maybe his mom was right....perhaps he should have stuck with cooking school and become a chef back on his home world.
"Alright, so Zurg sent you to learn a few things." Smoltz said to the best of his current composure, reassuring himself that if this agent were to kill him, he wouldn't go down with a skirmish. Survival was before all else.
He made his way over to the stove--or what looked like a stove--and started a pot of hot water. Some tea would be nice to calm his nerves.
"What exactly did he send you to learn." He asked, getting a plate and cup ready. If the agent wanted something it would probably be rotten.
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Post by Blacksteel on Oct 31, 2009 16:21:48 GMT -5
The demon took a seat at the rickety table without asking for permission. Since the guy needed to be handled roughly, and Hellboy had a certain status to maintain now, he'd keep his distance from him. "First, something to eat along with that tea you're making.
"Secondly, I need to learn anything you can tell me about everyday way of life. How to read and how to write; the various planets, species, cultures, and habits of the galaxy's residents; and all the latest in technology, illegal weaponry, and space-flight."
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